Yesterday he finish work early... Went to buy some grocery to cook.... Juz simple meal... I add too many water, the rice look like japanese rice... Haha...
我不知道要这么写。情绪很乱，不知道自己可不可以挨过这一关。虽然我很爱你不想失去你但是我的心还是那么痛。。。 头脑一片空白。。。有很多疑问。。。我问我自己有可能吗？还是因为现在你很爱我所以不介意我以前犯下的错？可能1年，2年，3年后，你介意了？或者你会一之怀疑，担心我在外面有没有这么样？或者你有一天会放弃我？你说我们从头来过，你会把那些关于我不好的事给忘记？有可能说忘就忘吗？我怀疑因为我自己做不到。。。我忘不掉也清楚知道这件事的影响力有多大。。。昨天你所说的事对我打击很大。。。我一直在压抑自己不去想但是。。。我不知道要这么去面对。。。我们在一起是被祝福的吗还是只是个笑话？一开始到现在都被一些事情阻挡。。。那现在呢？我们能通过这个考验吗？
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
30th January 2009 (Friday)
Im blogging this @ 7.04am... Dear juz went to work... Had been awhile since the last blog as im busy with work stuff...
Alot of things happen lately.... Things started to change a little too... Starting from meeting Gladys on 20th January 09 for dinner... Had curfew from him @ 11pm but told him i will be back @ 12am juz in case we chat too much or waiting time for train... Had so many experience with previous ex, whenever i told them this timing and i cant reach by the timing, im going to get it from them so might as well gif them the latest timing and if im home early den the expected timing at least im home early... Told him he is giving me more and more restriction... @ e end, he allowed me to go home whichever time im comfortable. Reach hm at 11.30pm by the way and did enjoy the session with gladys... We had not been meeting out for ages already...
Had been shopping for clothes recently during weekend with dear... He started to lose patient easily esp when im doing my shopping... There is 1 Saturday,I and Marie went to Queenstown Shopping Centre to buy clothes with dear... We spent almost 2 hrs trying clothes... Even Marie notice his face already black... CY was not with us cos he is in Orchard studying. When I tried clothes, he dont stay in the shop or see how i look in that top or dress cos he feel dat is very cramped inside the shop and he had to kip moving himself away from the people... Whenever i ask him this tube top nice anot, the ans is always the same ok lor, if not he will remain silent... There is 1 time, he sort of pissed off cos i asked him this tube top nice anot in front of a salesgirl which he don knw how to answer me cos he don like the top but cant tell me not nice. Afterall the incident of going shopping with him, make me pressure... When trying clothes, i will think whether will he be waitin too long outside or will his face become black when i try finish clothes... end up i didnt reali buy clothes when im alone with him... On the 21st January 09, dear finish work late due to CNY event held in camp so i asked Wendy to accompany me buy clothes... I had to leave bugis by 8.15pm cos dear finish work at 9pm... But after finish doing my shopping i left Bugis @ 8.30pm... No need to say i confirm cant reach hm by 9pm and he is not very happy... Dear intend to cook for me, so he went to sheng shiong to buy groceries and I walked back hm myself... Enjoy his ABC soup and we watch movie...
On 23rd January 09, we are msning in the late afternoon... He told me he doesnt like me wearing tube top/dress cos ppl r looking at my boobs and he feel uncomfortable bout it.... @ dat moment when i saw dat msg in my msn, i almost go crazy cos i feel ridiculous @ dat point of time... he even asked me to pack my tube top/dress and throew it away... end up nv throw la cos waste money lor... In e fist of anger, i wrote it in facebook status saying dat i need to go for plastic surgery to flatening my boobs... Gladys and Wendy also commented on my status and i didnt knw every1 in facebook will saw wad i wrote.. cos i thought only my own friends will see it... The next ting i knw is dear super duper dulan... quickly deleted all those comment that i wrote cos his colleague also saw wad i wrote and ask him wad happen... And he started to say things like i do wadever i like and he is not going to bother anymore.... And so heng after he du lan, rodin came to salon for haircut and help out with some work stuff... He is juz beside me and i cant open my msn to see... dear thought i MIA and called me... i cant talked much so i juz replied him im busy now... He put down the phone and sms back, he mean wad he said in msn as in do wadever i like and don act busy when we are in e midst of arguement. hmmm... i reali had nothing to say cos IM REALI BUSY cos os the last day of work and i will be back only on 2nd Febuary 09.... of cos there is alot of work stuff to clear.
He don reali allow me to go clubbing with my gal friends giving reasons like is dangerous cos guys pick up gals normally in clubbing, scared later get into fights... den he started asking question like y must go to such places with alcohol, blah,blah,blah.... After explaining, he asked me wads the difference between him and rodin... wtf... sometime i feel like bang wall lor esp we r talking on topics dat he don like me to do.... After dat, he say go and do wadever u like... but the tone he used obviously he not comfortable when im out with friends... I reali don understand y men or i rather say y every of my previous r/s haf the same common problem which is WHENEVER IM OUTSIDE, THEY KEEEPPPP WORRYYINGGGGG!!!! When i tell them not to worry, they dont believe... Kaoz... when talking bout this issue reali make me jump up to the ceiling... Thought bf is important cos he mayb ur lifetime partner but doesnt mean i haf to forgo my friends... Is very unhealthy to sustain a friendship if we seldom meet out and we will start drifting apart. I had tried dat once when im with Thomas and lost 1 of my best friend nw and i don wan it to repeat history again... Till nw i still don knw e conclusion yet... Guess haf to wait till the nxt gal nite and will see wads his reaction...
Recently, i found myself prone to crying... kaoz... hate it when im like dat... but i cant help it... when he emo, he always gif me cold treatment... im as if barred in an secluded palace like dat... super hate dat feeling... he basically don touch u or hug u, no direct eye contact, even when u try to ask him question he will say im ok or i haf nothin to say or cant i juz keep quiet. His reply is always damn short & sweet... n i can tell u dis feeling is damn shit... nw i understand how my ex feel when i always kept silent during an arguement... and also remind me of how thomas used to treat me... he sometime juz make me feel dat he is going to leave me when he did dat to me... Dat day, he suddenly kept quiet den he wrote a msg in his hp and show it to me saying can u delete rodin and ivan's msg and pics in ur hp. Seriously, im shocked for a second... how does he knw i had their smses and pic in my hp.... Told him of cos i can delete... Rodin's smses had been deleted long time ago juz left pics only... so i juz deleted those dat have not been erased as instructed... den i start crying... Cry not becos i cant bear to delete those thing but im sad cos... 1stly, i feel dat my privacy had been breached... how can he see my things wifout asking... so wad if u r my bf or even husband... every1 got their own privacy even after marriage. 2ndly, he basically DONT TRUST ME!!! Arggg!!! wads so dificult in putting ur trust in me when my bloody heart is already belong to u...
Last nite, rodin came to my hse to pass me my stuffs... didnt expect he will be visiting my hse to bai nian with my mum... when rodin told me dat is better to bai nian with my mum to show respect i stun for a moment... don knw how to react... Told dear bout it and dear wanted to leave my hse for awhile till he left my hse... Knowiin dat rodin will bring my hse key so yesterday afternoon i went to Jp purposely to find a keychain for e hse key and gif it a surprise to dear... Rodin came up and chat bout 30min and left my hse... B4 calling dear, i quickly put the hse key into the key chain with the help of my bro... n called dear.... starting he behave normally... when i left room for a min and came back, he suddenly change again... Kaoz... i reali don knw wad to say... his mood changes damn fast lor... cold treatment AGAIN!!!! Sometime i feel like shouting in his face and asked him WAD DO U WAN ME TO DO SO DAT U WILL BE HAPPY!!! but i wont do dat lar... still asked him nicely wad happened... he replied... don disturb me, im playing my game... told him i wanna buy cigarette so he followed me to 7-11... Didnt hold my hand, no conversation made during the journey to buy cigarette... Obviously he is not happy with something... back at hm, i asked him again.... y r u unhappy about??? he said nothin... and i asked him back, if nothin, y didnt u hold my hand... he replied, why shld i? den i ans him cos im ur gf, he den said, i don feel like holding hand... Freaking damn broke my heart man... cos u upset over certain issue and tell me u don feel like holding my hands... wtf... he den said, can i juz gif him time to cool down later he will be fine... my bro den come in to my room and smoke, i don wanna stay in the room with him and went to my bro room... haix... needless to say, i freaking cry again... ARggggggg!!!! whenever i shed tears, i asked myself Y AM I SO IN LOVE WITH HIM... if im not in love, perhap i wont tend to easily upset whenever his mood swing strike... IF im not in love, i can simply ignore his toopix cold treatment and happily do my stuffs. IF im not in love, i dont even haf to bother every little thing dat he don like and try to change it... IF im not in love, i will not do e keychain for him... While i was bloggin nw, he smses me saying he is sorry for everything... I replied ok... He ans ok only? Told him wad do u wan me to reply? He said he feel dat everything seems like his fault... I asked him y? He said everything... ask me everything include wad... He den replied me the keychain he do for u one? the "he" referring to Rodin... wtf... cant he see the keychain name is ROYCE MIN.... 1st 2 alfhabet is RO must be Rodin lar... I replied him back in BIG CAP saying the keychain i do 1 cant u see the name is urs and the purpose of going to JP is to get this keychain for u not to buy my stuff.... He replied me y u so sweet???? wtf... don even wan to continue with this topic...i change topic by askin him no need to do his parade so free can sms... ARGGG!!! Hate ppl to "assume" this and that.... Don knw or don understand ask lar... God gif u mouth is to ask nt to assume things dat r not FACT... Sometime things dat u see might not be the truth, darlin... Last nite i don even had a good sleep cos of this toopix thing...plus don knw why my room got mosquito... till now also haven sleep yet... Arggg so damn tired...
Think i reali love him more than i expected... haix... hopefully the love i had for him wont make me suffer... After wad i had gone thru with Thomas, i told myself i will only find someone who love me more than i do, den i found rodin... after that i found dat this kinda of r/s dont work out for me. Even when im with Ivan, i tried to love him more but i still cast a barrier in between us cos im afraid of getting hurt till I found dear and fell deeply in love... haix... Im praying hard to god dat this r/s i had will be a blissful one and he will lead me to become a submissive gf/wife...
Alot of things happen lately.... Things started to change a little too... Starting from meeting Gladys on 20th January 09 for dinner... Had curfew from him @ 11pm but told him i will be back @ 12am juz in case we chat too much or waiting time for train... Had so many experience with previous ex, whenever i told them this timing and i cant reach by the timing, im going to get it from them so might as well gif them the latest timing and if im home early den the expected timing at least im home early... Told him he is giving me more and more restriction... @ e end, he allowed me to go home whichever time im comfortable. Reach hm at 11.30pm by the way and did enjoy the session with gladys... We had not been meeting out for ages already...
Had been shopping for clothes recently during weekend with dear... He started to lose patient easily esp when im doing my shopping... There is 1 Saturday,I and Marie went to Queenstown Shopping Centre to buy clothes with dear... We spent almost 2 hrs trying clothes... Even Marie notice his face already black... CY was not with us cos he is in Orchard studying. When I tried clothes, he dont stay in the shop or see how i look in that top or dress cos he feel dat is very cramped inside the shop and he had to kip moving himself away from the people... Whenever i ask him this tube top nice anot, the ans is always the same ok lor, if not he will remain silent... There is 1 time, he sort of pissed off cos i asked him this tube top nice anot in front of a salesgirl which he don knw how to answer me cos he don like the top but cant tell me not nice. Afterall the incident of going shopping with him, make me pressure... When trying clothes, i will think whether will he be waitin too long outside or will his face become black when i try finish clothes... end up i didnt reali buy clothes when im alone with him... On the 21st January 09, dear finish work late due to CNY event held in camp so i asked Wendy to accompany me buy clothes... I had to leave bugis by 8.15pm cos dear finish work at 9pm... But after finish doing my shopping i left Bugis @ 8.30pm... No need to say i confirm cant reach hm by 9pm and he is not very happy... Dear intend to cook for me, so he went to sheng shiong to buy groceries and I walked back hm myself... Enjoy his ABC soup and we watch movie...
On 23rd January 09, we are msning in the late afternoon... He told me he doesnt like me wearing tube top/dress cos ppl r looking at my boobs and he feel uncomfortable bout it.... @ dat moment when i saw dat msg in my msn, i almost go crazy cos i feel ridiculous @ dat point of time... he even asked me to pack my tube top/dress and throew it away... end up nv throw la cos waste money lor... In e fist of anger, i wrote it in facebook status saying dat i need to go for plastic surgery to flatening my boobs... Gladys and Wendy also commented on my status and i didnt knw every1 in facebook will saw wad i wrote.. cos i thought only my own friends will see it... The next ting i knw is dear super duper dulan... quickly deleted all those comment that i wrote cos his colleague also saw wad i wrote and ask him wad happen... And he started to say things like i do wadever i like and he is not going to bother anymore.... And so heng after he du lan, rodin came to salon for haircut and help out with some work stuff... He is juz beside me and i cant open my msn to see... dear thought i MIA and called me... i cant talked much so i juz replied him im busy now... He put down the phone and sms back, he mean wad he said in msn as in do wadever i like and don act busy when we are in e midst of arguement. hmmm... i reali had nothing to say cos IM REALI BUSY cos os the last day of work and i will be back only on 2nd Febuary 09.... of cos there is alot of work stuff to clear.
He don reali allow me to go clubbing with my gal friends giving reasons like is dangerous cos guys pick up gals normally in clubbing, scared later get into fights... den he started asking question like y must go to such places with alcohol, blah,blah,blah.... After explaining, he asked me wads the difference between him and rodin... wtf... sometime i feel like bang wall lor esp we r talking on topics dat he don like me to do.... After dat, he say go and do wadever u like... but the tone he used obviously he not comfortable when im out with friends... I reali don understand y men or i rather say y every of my previous r/s haf the same common problem which is WHENEVER IM OUTSIDE, THEY KEEEPPPP WORRYYINGGGGG!!!! When i tell them not to worry, they dont believe... Kaoz... when talking bout this issue reali make me jump up to the ceiling... Thought bf is important cos he mayb ur lifetime partner but doesnt mean i haf to forgo my friends... Is very unhealthy to sustain a friendship if we seldom meet out and we will start drifting apart. I had tried dat once when im with Thomas and lost 1 of my best friend nw and i don wan it to repeat history again... Till nw i still don knw e conclusion yet... Guess haf to wait till the nxt gal nite and will see wads his reaction...
Recently, i found myself prone to crying... kaoz... hate it when im like dat... but i cant help it... when he emo, he always gif me cold treatment... im as if barred in an secluded palace like dat... super hate dat feeling... he basically don touch u or hug u, no direct eye contact, even when u try to ask him question he will say im ok or i haf nothin to say or cant i juz keep quiet. His reply is always damn short & sweet... n i can tell u dis feeling is damn shit... nw i understand how my ex feel when i always kept silent during an arguement... and also remind me of how thomas used to treat me... he sometime juz make me feel dat he is going to leave me when he did dat to me... Dat day, he suddenly kept quiet den he wrote a msg in his hp and show it to me saying can u delete rodin and ivan's msg and pics in ur hp. Seriously, im shocked for a second... how does he knw i had their smses and pic in my hp.... Told him of cos i can delete... Rodin's smses had been deleted long time ago juz left pics only... so i juz deleted those dat have not been erased as instructed... den i start crying... Cry not becos i cant bear to delete those thing but im sad cos... 1stly, i feel dat my privacy had been breached... how can he see my things wifout asking... so wad if u r my bf or even husband... every1 got their own privacy even after marriage. 2ndly, he basically DONT TRUST ME!!! Arggg!!! wads so dificult in putting ur trust in me when my bloody heart is already belong to u...
Last nite, rodin came to my hse to pass me my stuffs... didnt expect he will be visiting my hse to bai nian with my mum... when rodin told me dat is better to bai nian with my mum to show respect i stun for a moment... don knw how to react... Told dear bout it and dear wanted to leave my hse for awhile till he left my hse... Knowiin dat rodin will bring my hse key so yesterday afternoon i went to Jp purposely to find a keychain for e hse key and gif it a surprise to dear... Rodin came up and chat bout 30min and left my hse... B4 calling dear, i quickly put the hse key into the key chain with the help of my bro... n called dear.... starting he behave normally... when i left room for a min and came back, he suddenly change again... Kaoz... i reali don knw wad to say... his mood changes damn fast lor... cold treatment AGAIN!!!! Sometime i feel like shouting in his face and asked him WAD DO U WAN ME TO DO SO DAT U WILL BE HAPPY!!! but i wont do dat lar... still asked him nicely wad happened... he replied... don disturb me, im playing my game... told him i wanna buy cigarette so he followed me to 7-11... Didnt hold my hand, no conversation made during the journey to buy cigarette... Obviously he is not happy with something... back at hm, i asked him again.... y r u unhappy about??? he said nothin... and i asked him back, if nothin, y didnt u hold my hand... he replied, why shld i? den i ans him cos im ur gf, he den said, i don feel like holding hand... Freaking damn broke my heart man... cos u upset over certain issue and tell me u don feel like holding my hands... wtf... he den said, can i juz gif him time to cool down later he will be fine... my bro den come in to my room and smoke, i don wanna stay in the room with him and went to my bro room... haix... needless to say, i freaking cry again... ARggggggg!!!! whenever i shed tears, i asked myself Y AM I SO IN LOVE WITH HIM... if im not in love, perhap i wont tend to easily upset whenever his mood swing strike... IF im not in love, i can simply ignore his toopix cold treatment and happily do my stuffs. IF im not in love, i dont even haf to bother every little thing dat he don like and try to change it... IF im not in love, i will not do e keychain for him... While i was bloggin nw, he smses me saying he is sorry for everything... I replied ok... He ans ok only? Told him wad do u wan me to reply? He said he feel dat everything seems like his fault... I asked him y? He said everything... ask me everything include wad... He den replied me the keychain he do for u one? the "he" referring to Rodin... wtf... cant he see the keychain name is ROYCE MIN.... 1st 2 alfhabet is RO must be Rodin lar... I replied him back in BIG CAP saying the keychain i do 1 cant u see the name is urs and the purpose of going to JP is to get this keychain for u not to buy my stuff.... He replied me y u so sweet???? wtf... don even wan to continue with this topic...i change topic by askin him no need to do his parade so free can sms... ARGGG!!! Hate ppl to "assume" this and that.... Don knw or don understand ask lar... God gif u mouth is to ask nt to assume things dat r not FACT... Sometime things dat u see might not be the truth, darlin... Last nite i don even had a good sleep cos of this toopix thing...plus don knw why my room got mosquito... till now also haven sleep yet... Arggg so damn tired...
Think i reali love him more than i expected... haix... hopefully the love i had for him wont make me suffer... After wad i had gone thru with Thomas, i told myself i will only find someone who love me more than i do, den i found rodin... after that i found dat this kinda of r/s dont work out for me. Even when im with Ivan, i tried to love him more but i still cast a barrier in between us cos im afraid of getting hurt till I found dear and fell deeply in love... haix... Im praying hard to god dat this r/s i had will be a blissful one and he will lead me to become a submissive gf/wife...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
13th January 2009 (Tuesday)
Morning call for me... as usual... dear had to call me a few times + smses me to wake me up.... Im such a pig. Kinda busy with work and students... Busying preparing powerpoint slide for tml presentation and students came in for class becos examination on thursday... Wad a busy day... Dear was smsing me asking me to cook... but my speciality is "maggi mee". Last nite he ate maggi mee already not healthy to eat tonight again. So i intend to cook spagetti... Luckily, they had those precook spagetti sauce which can be easily find in supermarket.... Haha... This is my 1st time cooking spagetti... Hoping everything goes well... Ask my bro not to buy dinner so dat he can taste it 1st... Haha... im so bad.. ask my brother to test my food.... Anyway due to work, i knocked off at 8.30pm... Rush to bugis cold storage to buy my stuffs... and rush back home... dear pick me up at lakeside mrt station since he juz left work. Dear was damn dusty... His hair become grey colour, his clothes full of sand and boots full of muds... Super disgusting... Anyway reach home straight away prepare the food cos everyone is straving already...
Actually not much thing lar... fried hotdogs and crabmeat and mushroom in the sauce + cooking the spagetti. but i was like preparing until siao... haha... dear wanted to help but i feel funny when he is around me esp when im cooking... haha... cos i easily get nervous when he is around me... asked him to watch his show to kill time so he bring Ong Bak 2 disc to the living room and watch with my brother. My brother also help me with cooking the pork meat... haha.... luckily we didnt lau sai cos the pork had been in the freezer since 25th dec till now...
Sat down and eat in the living room while watching Ong Bak 2... Brother auto help me wash some of the dishes... dear also help up and i had to wash the stove cos the stove is full of oil stain... Later mummy is going to jump up the ceiling if she was the oil stain on her stove... Around 12am dear fall asleep le.... He damn tired... ke lian darliN... I watch heroes while he is asleep till 3am again... Wow... my skin is going to dehydrate man... The golden time to rest our skin is from 11am to 2am....
Actually not much thing lar... fried hotdogs and crabmeat and mushroom in the sauce + cooking the spagetti. but i was like preparing until siao... haha... dear wanted to help but i feel funny when he is around me esp when im cooking... haha... cos i easily get nervous when he is around me... asked him to watch his show to kill time so he bring Ong Bak 2 disc to the living room and watch with my brother. My brother also help me with cooking the pork meat... haha.... luckily we didnt lau sai cos the pork had been in the freezer since 25th dec till now...
Sat down and eat in the living room while watching Ong Bak 2... Brother auto help me wash some of the dishes... dear also help up and i had to wash the stove cos the stove is full of oil stain... Later mummy is going to jump up the ceiling if she was the oil stain on her stove... Around 12am dear fall asleep le.... He damn tired... ke lian darliN... I watch heroes while he is asleep till 3am again... Wow... my skin is going to dehydrate man... The golden time to rest our skin is from 11am to 2am....
12th January 2008 (Monday)
Didnt go work today cos i wake up at 1pm... Haha.... juz feel super tired... Arggg!!!! Was smsing with dear.... Hmmm... again he is asking me to tell alice im quitting... hmmm.... he is asking around see whether got job anot... then.... asking me to work as kinegarden teacher... but need o lvl... too bad i don haf credit for english... den he told me dat he rather me go study abit 1st... after having a long discussion, end up we stick with working in current job and take up part time diploma.
I did alot of hse chore today... Washing dear's clothes, mopping the floor and washing toilet. After doing all those house chores, im damn tired. It was around 5 to 6pm liao. I cook maggi mee for my lunch too lazy to go out and eat.... Haha...
Today dear will be working late... Haix... watch Heroes all the way after bathing.... till bout 10pm... I heard someone coming back home.... I didnt care much cos should be my dad. Den someone knocked on my room door, haha.... Dear is back... Last nite i left my hse key in his car... Hahaha... Miss him so much but i cant hug him cos he is very dirty....
Cook maggi mee for him.... we watch show since we bought so many dvds. 1st we watch" wad happen in Vegas"... halfway thru the show, the disc spolied... den we watch the 2nd show "27 dresses", cant see too... 3rd show "the leap years", finally no problem. Dear watch half way fell asleep already so i continue to watch. The show was so touching toward the end... slept at 2 or 3am.., So tiring....
I did alot of hse chore today... Washing dear's clothes, mopping the floor and washing toilet. After doing all those house chores, im damn tired. It was around 5 to 6pm liao. I cook maggi mee for my lunch too lazy to go out and eat.... Haha...
Today dear will be working late... Haix... watch Heroes all the way after bathing.... till bout 10pm... I heard someone coming back home.... I didnt care much cos should be my dad. Den someone knocked on my room door, haha.... Dear is back... Last nite i left my hse key in his car... Hahaha... Miss him so much but i cant hug him cos he is very dirty....
Cook maggi mee for him.... we watch show since we bought so many dvds. 1st we watch" wad happen in Vegas"... halfway thru the show, the disc spolied... den we watch the 2nd show "27 dresses", cant see too... 3rd show "the leap years", finally no problem. Dear watch half way fell asleep already so i continue to watch. The show was so touching toward the end... slept at 2 or 3am.., So tiring....
Monday, January 12, 2009
11th January 2008 (Sunday)
Not going to church cos we slept so late yesterdat. Supposingly meeting marie and cy to JB... Initial plan was we go in 1st cos Marie had tution till 1pm and had to go bugis buy things 1st. So i and dear go in JB... Dear didnt talk much so i asked him why didnt he talked.. He replied nothing to say and he doesnt feel like talking. So initially i thought he juz don feel like talking and nv pester him... I read newspaper while going to Tebrau City Jusco.... When reached, he walked very slow and feel dat something is juz not right. Wen to Vincci and find my shoes. dear sit down and wait for me... Toopix idoit!!! E shoe i wanted to buy sold out liao, luckily i saw another pair of shoe quite nice too. So i asked dear where u wanna go after i bought the shoe. he said "Anything". I juz feel like banging my head on the wall lor after asking him question... So we went to buy cigarette and smoke and den i told him we go home... He say ok... Went to the carpark... open engine... didnt move his car.. we sitted in the car for 30min i think... He seem like thinking bout things so i asked him wad r u thinking. He told me thinking bout last night incident and dat he didnt really sleep well last nite cos he had been thinking why this incident happen. So he told me dat i shldnt sms rodin and if i didnt sms rodin, he wont feel emo dat nite and his friends wont see dat he is sad and this incident wont happen. He asked me did i think bout this b4? I replied nope cos to me, as a friend sending sms wishing him is normal but to him haf to based on situation. So i asked him, y he had to care bout Rodin or Ken or whoever dat like me? He didnt have faith in me? He said he had no faith in himself... Actually thoughtout the while conversation, i juz feel like laughing lor... haha... juz feel funny... or mayb happy dat dear actually love me alot. Dear asked me do i knw why he had this kind of reaction anot? he said becos he love me alot and dat he is afraid of losing me. Told dear not to think too much... Haix... was wondering cant he see or feel how much i love him. Why does he have to worry... Actuali after he told me all this, i thought of ROM 1st so dat he will feel secure lor... I can do till such extent juz to make him feel secure. haix... He also said now everytime my msg ring, he will wonder who sms me? is it them? which make him feel insecure... Till the extent he told me dat he rather i quit my job and he support me... wth.... haix... becos of a toopix sms... create so many problem... haix... left the shopping centre and he went to see his car thingy and put reverse sensor and add volts stabilizer... Went to taman sentosa... dear bought discs den went to eat seafood...
Meet CY @ marie hse downstair cos have to pass him his bag... i asked marie did rodin and Yin fatt say anything anot. She told me Cy said Yin fatt told him dat i 2 time... wtf... Marie they all also say how can i consider 2 timer. The fact is we already broke off, i and dear didnt contact even we 1st met at she bangs. Is only after malaysia trip which i already broke off with rodin liao... Marie also said rodin is angry cos broke off with him not long after i got another new r/s... well... i have nothing to comment. If i found my Mr Right, i don see y i cant get into a r/s. He wanna angry i also don care... cos the person i care most is my darlin... did receive rodin msg today saying pai seh bout last night, drank alot brain cannot think straight. Didnt reply him cos he is talking rubbish lor... Gladys told me dat when he come to she bangs, he juz woke up from drinking liquor... Confirm not dat drunk as wad he said... Somemore last night saw him, he confirm not under alcohol control lor... haix... knwo him 3 years+ still don knw when is he drunk anot, i can go bang wall lor... Anyway, b4 going home i told dear i wanna eat my fav chocolate Hersey... Went to nearest petrol kiosk and i saw preganancy kit... while on the way to marie hse, i told dear my menses is late for 2 weeks liao... So i told dear they sell PK too... Haha... we bought it... 1month anniversary present is the PK. haha... he is juz kidding la...
In the car, dear asked me wad if is positive... Haha.... seriously, i reali don knw wad to do lor if is positive... Haix... Half of me wanted to keep cos i reali love him and another half of it, i scared its not the right time yet cos both of us are still young. Having a kid is not easy... Dear say actuali he feel happy if i reali pregnant and is up to me whether to keep it anot... If i wan it, he will go thru with me... Wow... touched man... at the same time i also doubt, maybe if im tested postive, he wont have such thinking liao... Maybe juz like thomas... intially act as if he will be responsible and in the end different story... Hmmm... anyway, is different ppl lar.. shldnt compare... Reached home, went to test... Result negative... Haha... actuali i feel kinda sad... cos somehow i wanted to know wad reali will happen to us if im reali pregnant... think im crazy, wanna get pregnant juz to see wad will happen... scarly pregnant liao end up need to go thru abortion... ew... so scary...
Meet CY @ marie hse downstair cos have to pass him his bag... i asked marie did rodin and Yin fatt say anything anot. She told me Cy said Yin fatt told him dat i 2 time... wtf... Marie they all also say how can i consider 2 timer. The fact is we already broke off, i and dear didnt contact even we 1st met at she bangs. Is only after malaysia trip which i already broke off with rodin liao... Marie also said rodin is angry cos broke off with him not long after i got another new r/s... well... i have nothing to comment. If i found my Mr Right, i don see y i cant get into a r/s. He wanna angry i also don care... cos the person i care most is my darlin... did receive rodin msg today saying pai seh bout last night, drank alot brain cannot think straight. Didnt reply him cos he is talking rubbish lor... Gladys told me dat when he come to she bangs, he juz woke up from drinking liquor... Confirm not dat drunk as wad he said... Somemore last night saw him, he confirm not under alcohol control lor... haix... knwo him 3 years+ still don knw when is he drunk anot, i can go bang wall lor... Anyway, b4 going home i told dear i wanna eat my fav chocolate Hersey... Went to nearest petrol kiosk and i saw preganancy kit... while on the way to marie hse, i told dear my menses is late for 2 weeks liao... So i told dear they sell PK too... Haha... we bought it... 1month anniversary present is the PK. haha... he is juz kidding la...
In the car, dear asked me wad if is positive... Haha.... seriously, i reali don knw wad to do lor if is positive... Haix... Half of me wanted to keep cos i reali love him and another half of it, i scared its not the right time yet cos both of us are still young. Having a kid is not easy... Dear say actuali he feel happy if i reali pregnant and is up to me whether to keep it anot... If i wan it, he will go thru with me... Wow... touched man... at the same time i also doubt, maybe if im tested postive, he wont have such thinking liao... Maybe juz like thomas... intially act as if he will be responsible and in the end different story... Hmmm... anyway, is different ppl lar.. shldnt compare... Reached home, went to test... Result negative... Haha... actuali i feel kinda sad... cos somehow i wanted to know wad reali will happen to us if im reali pregnant... think im crazy, wanna get pregnant juz to see wad will happen... scarly pregnant liao end up need to go thru abortion... ew... so scary...
10th January 2009 (Saturday)
Slacking at home... Dear playing his game while i watch heroes.... Hmmm... until Marie called and asked to go shopping at orchard cos CY finish school at 6pm... soo bian go out... But i wanna go queensway buy jeans 1st... Went to pick Marie up and den head to Queensway... We haven even eat lor our lunch lor... So hungry... Ate snacks at Queensway cos eating dinner @ orchard later... As usual... go to the same shop and tested alot of clothes... till dear face also black black... But no choice cos i and Marie sharing one cubicle... alot of customer lei... I ended spenting $85 for 1 3 quareter pant and a jeans while Marie spent 1 tee, 1 3 quarter pant and a belt at $88... Dear went to cut his hair while waiting for us... I signalled to Marie saying he not happy liao, she also can tell thru his face... Haha... Went back to the car and saw summon $30... cos we didnt put parking coupon... Haha.. on the way to orchard, Marie sms me... saying " angry + summon = more angry"... haha.... told marie is ok lar... later i will talked to him.... who know a few minutes later, dear forget to insert his cash card. B4 he could insert his cash card, it is too late... Hmmm... in the car super silence... asked dear whether is he ok.. He replied "yup"... Reached car park, Marie walked 1st so dat i haf chance to talk with dear.. Dear still very normal lei... Haha... Meet Cy at Sakura in far east plaza... den go walk walk... Bought the dress which i saw yesterday but i bought 1 only cos the other 1 marie feel that the colour too bright. Dear also bought a white long sleeves shirt with shinning beads on it.
Went to a chilled out place @ emery link... with Nana and bf... till around 11am+ we changed place to BQ... BS, Emily, Jin Hong, Jia Bao and Xiao Hei was there too... my brother also joining us while we were with Nana... Went to she bangs.. Today after 12am is our 1 month anniversary... and also rodin's bday... Hmmm.. i did told marie bout today is rodin bday and our 1 month anniversary... also told her dat i will sms him Happy Birthday cos he did sms me during my bday too... but i didnt mention anything to dear... cos don wanna spoil our 1 month anniversary. After 12am, i sms Rodin... he replied.... Thankx... was smsing with gladys that night thinking of meeting her out awhile since both of us at BQ... but she was busy looking after rodin... I went to toilet and when i was back, dear told me Rodin sms me... when i look at my hp, i notice dat dear had open and see the sms liao. to my surprise, the content of the sms was shocking to me. I was thinking wad will dear think after seeing this msg... I didnt reply his sms.. instead i sms gladys ask her look after him cos he is drunk starting to sms me rubbish... I can feel dear not feeling comfortable... he started to keep queit... didnt hug me or wad... Hmmm.. i asked him is he ok his reply is always the same "Yes" irregardless whether he angry or not... he went to smoke i den asked him again after seeing this msg, did he feel anything. He said, of cos he don feel good and no guys will feel good after seeing such smses. Around 3am... Cy they all outside smoking and chatting. dear went out 1st den i feel like smoking. So i took out my cigarette. I saw Marie giving me a funny kind of look so i asked her wad happen. She told me rodin was outside.. BS and Cy are entertaining them... I peep outside only saw dear... afte dat i saw Yin fatt walking toward the entrance and i open the door. He asked me "Who is he". Im thinking who e hell r u to ask me who is him lor. so i juz replied wad u mean by who is him. Bs drag YF away den i saw Rodin beside smoking. Cy and Bs drag them back to Jab 1... Saw dear walking toward their direction, went to stop him... He told me he wanted to go back to his car but i don allowed so he asked to go home. I cant possibly leave CY and BS like dat and juz went off cos rodin confirm got alot of friends at Jab 1. He den asked me how do they know im at she bang? Did i tell him? of cos i didnt lar... y shld i tell him where am i at e 1st place.We waited for them to come back and den leave she bangs. In the car,we didnt talk...and dear was driving very slow... was wondering is it becos he is running out of petrol or wad...
Reach home, he play his game while talking bout the incident that had juz happened... He still can talk cock with me and behave normally. Dear asked me how much i take home monthly. He told me dat the only him he wanted get into a fight becos of a gal is Wen Ting and the guy is Alex... I was like huh??? cos alex also at she bangs today... juz happen he also go she bangs... talk until almost 6am den went to sleep... wad a good memory of our 1 month anniversary...
Went to a chilled out place @ emery link... with Nana and bf... till around 11am+ we changed place to BQ... BS, Emily, Jin Hong, Jia Bao and Xiao Hei was there too... my brother also joining us while we were with Nana... Went to she bangs.. Today after 12am is our 1 month anniversary... and also rodin's bday... Hmmm.. i did told marie bout today is rodin bday and our 1 month anniversary... also told her dat i will sms him Happy Birthday cos he did sms me during my bday too... but i didnt mention anything to dear... cos don wanna spoil our 1 month anniversary. After 12am, i sms Rodin... he replied.... Thankx... was smsing with gladys that night thinking of meeting her out awhile since both of us at BQ... but she was busy looking after rodin... I went to toilet and when i was back, dear told me Rodin sms me... when i look at my hp, i notice dat dear had open and see the sms liao. to my surprise, the content of the sms was shocking to me. I was thinking wad will dear think after seeing this msg... I didnt reply his sms.. instead i sms gladys ask her look after him cos he is drunk starting to sms me rubbish... I can feel dear not feeling comfortable... he started to keep queit... didnt hug me or wad... Hmmm.. i asked him is he ok his reply is always the same "Yes" irregardless whether he angry or not... he went to smoke i den asked him again after seeing this msg, did he feel anything. He said, of cos he don feel good and no guys will feel good after seeing such smses. Around 3am... Cy they all outside smoking and chatting. dear went out 1st den i feel like smoking. So i took out my cigarette. I saw Marie giving me a funny kind of look so i asked her wad happen. She told me rodin was outside.. BS and Cy are entertaining them... I peep outside only saw dear... afte dat i saw Yin fatt walking toward the entrance and i open the door. He asked me "Who is he". Im thinking who e hell r u to ask me who is him lor. so i juz replied wad u mean by who is him. Bs drag YF away den i saw Rodin beside smoking. Cy and Bs drag them back to Jab 1... Saw dear walking toward their direction, went to stop him... He told me he wanted to go back to his car but i don allowed so he asked to go home. I cant possibly leave CY and BS like dat and juz went off cos rodin confirm got alot of friends at Jab 1. He den asked me how do they know im at she bang? Did i tell him? of cos i didnt lar... y shld i tell him where am i at e 1st place.We waited for them to come back and den leave she bangs. In the car,we didnt talk...and dear was driving very slow... was wondering is it becos he is running out of petrol or wad...
Reach home, he play his game while talking bout the incident that had juz happened... He still can talk cock with me and behave normally. Dear asked me how much i take home monthly. He told me dat the only him he wanted get into a fight becos of a gal is Wen Ting and the guy is Alex... I was like huh??? cos alex also at she bangs today... juz happen he also go she bangs... talk until almost 6am den went to sleep... wad a good memory of our 1 month anniversary...
9th January 2009 (Friday)
Dear went to work at 6am..... He called me at 9am+ asking wanna eat breakfast anot... Reach my hse at 10am waiting for me to do make up cos today got audit... Hopefully everything goes well... Went to lavender and eat duck hor fun... Ew... not very nice liao... think change chef already...
Reach salon... im fainting soon... the beauty side was still in the mess... It was already 1pm... the examiner coming in at 3pm... Oh my god!!! Helping them to clear up stuffs and arrange the products, etc... e examiner was 15min early. Luckily we finished packing in time. Talked with the examiner and bring her around to look at our facilities. Went to Uncle Toni's office and show her trainer qualification, policies, etc... Talked bout the procedure during examination... Finish bout 5.30pm ba... Ask dear to fetch me at 6pm cos Auntie Alice give me green light to go off early cos consider the audit was a success one.
Went to far east plaza... Shopping... dear walked until going to die liao... Haix.. this man reali hate going shopping man... Is normally for a gal to go into a boutique and try a few clothes right... To him, he feel dat i try too many clothes... Hmmm... anyway i didnt buy any clothes today... but already had 2 dresses in mind... After dat, we went to Lido and bought 2 ticket watching Red Cliff 2. The show starting at 12.20pm... it was 10pm when we bought the tickets. So suggest going BQ "Acoustic" sing song lor... No customer during dat time only staffs and boss are there.... Dear sing song.... I order i jug of beer... and finish it by 12am i think...
The show finish at 2.45am... Reach home super tired... Don intend to work tml... So shag... wanna spend time with dear.
Reach salon... im fainting soon... the beauty side was still in the mess... It was already 1pm... the examiner coming in at 3pm... Oh my god!!! Helping them to clear up stuffs and arrange the products, etc... e examiner was 15min early. Luckily we finished packing in time. Talked with the examiner and bring her around to look at our facilities. Went to Uncle Toni's office and show her trainer qualification, policies, etc... Talked bout the procedure during examination... Finish bout 5.30pm ba... Ask dear to fetch me at 6pm cos Auntie Alice give me green light to go off early cos consider the audit was a success one.
Went to far east plaza... Shopping... dear walked until going to die liao... Haix.. this man reali hate going shopping man... Is normally for a gal to go into a boutique and try a few clothes right... To him, he feel dat i try too many clothes... Hmmm... anyway i didnt buy any clothes today... but already had 2 dresses in mind... After dat, we went to Lido and bought 2 ticket watching Red Cliff 2. The show starting at 12.20pm... it was 10pm when we bought the tickets. So suggest going BQ "Acoustic" sing song lor... No customer during dat time only staffs and boss are there.... Dear sing song.... I order i jug of beer... and finish it by 12am i think...
The show finish at 2.45am... Reach home super tired... Don intend to work tml... So shag... wanna spend time with dear.
8th January 2008 (Thursday)
Drive to work today... Was busy preparing stuff for tml's audit... haix.... wad a day... Today is Uncle Toni's 61th birthday. So me and wendy decide to buy a small cake and call for small celebration. Went to Four Leaves and bought "black forest".... This is the 1st time i saw Uncle Toni smiling thru out the celebration... For the past 3 years, i don remember him smiling so much as he always like to look fierce in front of others so dat others will respect him... Took some pics of him with the cake and another pic of him with Auntie Alice. Auntie Alice very funny lor... She was half way perming her hair so basically she was taking pics with perming rod on her head and apron on her body with Uncle Toni... And her head looked so small... hahaha...
In the afternoon, mummy called me asking whether want to go shopping anot. I told her i had to pick royce cos im driving his car and he booked out tonight. So mummy suggest going to JP have dinner together... Well... told dear and he agreed.
Left work at 7pm today, when to dear's camp... Slow traffic at AYE lor.. nvm reach jurong so many red light... Somemore i wanted to pee... Arggg!!! reach dear camp around 7.45pm asked him to drive to JP... We parked at opp JP carpark those kind of multistorey carpark... Once we drive in to the carpark, we saw so many fathimah around... Dear drive all the way to the highest storey.... hoping dat those fathimah wont climb all the way to check on his coupon... Mummy already reached and meet her at JP new shopping centre 3rd floor. Went to Lai Lai Beef Noddle and eat.... As usual.. dear don talk... Mummy asked him 1 question he replied and den no more sound from him. haha...
Went shopping after dat... saw a top at "Sense"... Quite nice but also very expensive... It costed $69.90 for a top... Is far to expensive lor... and i had been trying a few pieces of clothes too... dear was standing near the entrance of the boutique... After talking with my mum bout the price, i decided not to buy 1st unless reali cant find any clothes den go back and buy lor.... So i asked dear to leave the boutique... Dear's face abit black wor... He said he waited for me 15mins and he is so bored like an idoit standing inside... I keep asking him to go in, he don wan... den wad can i do... We went back to the carpark as dear parked the highest level so he went to collect his car alone. I told mummy dat he juz nw face black cos waiting for me... Haha... den mummy asked me rodin will like dat anot? I told mummy rodin is ok to go shopping with me but no one is perfect.... Royce dont reali had bad temper like Rodin wad... Mummy smile back at me and asked me so will this r/s last? haha... i replied her hope it will last...
Reached home... and back to our world...
In the afternoon, mummy called me asking whether want to go shopping anot. I told her i had to pick royce cos im driving his car and he booked out tonight. So mummy suggest going to JP have dinner together... Well... told dear and he agreed.
Left work at 7pm today, when to dear's camp... Slow traffic at AYE lor.. nvm reach jurong so many red light... Somemore i wanted to pee... Arggg!!! reach dear camp around 7.45pm asked him to drive to JP... We parked at opp JP carpark those kind of multistorey carpark... Once we drive in to the carpark, we saw so many fathimah around... Dear drive all the way to the highest storey.... hoping dat those fathimah wont climb all the way to check on his coupon... Mummy already reached and meet her at JP new shopping centre 3rd floor. Went to Lai Lai Beef Noddle and eat.... As usual.. dear don talk... Mummy asked him 1 question he replied and den no more sound from him. haha...
Went shopping after dat... saw a top at "Sense"... Quite nice but also very expensive... It costed $69.90 for a top... Is far to expensive lor... and i had been trying a few pieces of clothes too... dear was standing near the entrance of the boutique... After talking with my mum bout the price, i decided not to buy 1st unless reali cant find any clothes den go back and buy lor.... So i asked dear to leave the boutique... Dear's face abit black wor... He said he waited for me 15mins and he is so bored like an idoit standing inside... I keep asking him to go in, he don wan... den wad can i do... We went back to the carpark as dear parked the highest level so he went to collect his car alone. I told mummy dat he juz nw face black cos waiting for me... Haha... den mummy asked me rodin will like dat anot? I told mummy rodin is ok to go shopping with me but no one is perfect.... Royce dont reali had bad temper like Rodin wad... Mummy smile back at me and asked me so will this r/s last? haha... i replied her hope it will last...
Reached home... and back to our world...
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
7th January 2008 ( Wednesday)
Didnt see my darlin for 40 hrs 30min (minus off last nite da bao food for him which is bout 30mins i think).... Im missin him like crazy... Today we didnt reali sms cos his side don have much reception... Haix... Busy with work... chiong for the audit... How i hope the audit faster finish and must be a good one...
Got a shocking new in the afternoon, alice told me dat the chq which i lost had been cashed out yesterday... Is impossible cos it is not cash cheque and i had made crosses on the chq too.... Alice as usual super gan giong ran out to DBS Bank to check whether who cash out the chq... i was told not to mention anything to uncle toni if not she is going to get scolded as Uncle Toni had reminded her to void the chq... but she didnt thinking dat no one will cash out the chq since i had written my name on it... when she reached DBS Bank, she called me again complaining the queue very long and dat she is toopix didnt void, blar blar blar... So i asked her to check properly 1st even if the person cashed out by forging her signature, there are so many cctv around defintely can see whos that person... So she put down the phone. I was doing my makeup cos meeting my brother to PS to repair my hp and collect my braclet. Another phone call from her again, the officer checked and find out that the chq had went thru into another person account. So i asked alice to check who is the fellow... and told her dat i had filled up my name and account number behind. Maybe the money had gone thru my bank or wad... She asked me to go down to the bank to check... pass the officer my account number and the money was really in my bank... Alice finally relax abit after hearing dat... but i don haf any identification card with me, they cant reissue an atm card... so if i had to withdraw money got to bloody queue up... Due to time constrint, i choose not to do it today anyway alice also gif green light saying the money in my bank nxt time den calculate... hmmm.. since that person who stole my wallet so good still can bank in my cheque to me.... how i hope dat person will return me my ic and driving license... haix
Went to PS with brother... suddenly i remember i left my police report in dear's car... wtf... is impossible for me to walk all the way back and take lor... so we still go PS but i took my braclet only... Ate carl's jr with bro... i finish off the burger... left abit of bread haha... today keep feeling hungry... hmm... mensses coming soon making me hungry... Argg!!! hopefully i don grow fat after the burger... rush back to salon cos i haf to teach @ 4pm... Luckily only orientation nia... last bout 30mins... continue doing my documentation stuffs...
Msg between me and dear:
Dear: can see aunty and uncle dote on u alot
(i was telling him wad had been regarding the chq suddenly he reply this msg... ??? i replied him and asked wad does the chq issue got to do with aunty and uncle doting on me)
Dear: if u notice they treat u v.nice.. i also really scared u leave me cos wad me n rodin different?
if u can do it to him. i dun c y u cant do it to me.
(when i saw this msg, my mood straight away when down man... cos i don knw wad to reply him... if u r afriad so am i... i also afraid one day u will tell me i treat u too good and den leave me or im too sticky or wadever shit... In life no matter in r/s or career, there are alot of unforeseen circumstances... true enu... rodin and his family treat me very good and i admit i don cherish him... though he is trying his best to treat me good.... wad can i do??? i don wanna take advantage of the good things he did to me... the more he treat me good the more i need to reject him cos i don love him anymore... and dat he will find a better gal... i had try my best to put away negative thinking and y are u immerging urself in negative thoughts. haix...
Dear: i will leave if i cant take e insecurity but as 4 nw im ok. n same as u. i wana u be my wife
soon
(i asked him will u leave me if u feel insecure?)
Dear: maybe in 1 years time if we r ready cos i wana live e rest of my life with u!
(I asked him how soon? that was his replied... haha...
Dear: cos im love sick nw can! all becos of u nw i like this!
(i asked him how come 3 years time suddenly become 1 year liao cos we had an agreement if we managed to be together for 3 years den get married??? haha)
After all this sms, he called... chat awhile... den he had to go back to his work... I stay at salon till 8.30pm lor... Rodin was in salon uploading software into the new computer... This is the 1st time i saw him after bout 2 months or more i think... hmmm... i thought i will feel awkward... but seem ok lei... juz like normal friends... didnt talk much even talk also talk about work stuffs... went off to have dinner with wendy le...
yesh... im going jogging now with my brother... is 12.02am nw... this bloody shit still don wanna go jogging... later i jog half way faint cos too tired liao... haha... missin dear so much... didnt receive his msg... think no reception if not sleeping liao...
Got a shocking new in the afternoon, alice told me dat the chq which i lost had been cashed out yesterday... Is impossible cos it is not cash cheque and i had made crosses on the chq too.... Alice as usual super gan giong ran out to DBS Bank to check whether who cash out the chq... i was told not to mention anything to uncle toni if not she is going to get scolded as Uncle Toni had reminded her to void the chq... but she didnt thinking dat no one will cash out the chq since i had written my name on it... when she reached DBS Bank, she called me again complaining the queue very long and dat she is toopix didnt void, blar blar blar... So i asked her to check properly 1st even if the person cashed out by forging her signature, there are so many cctv around defintely can see whos that person... So she put down the phone. I was doing my makeup cos meeting my brother to PS to repair my hp and collect my braclet. Another phone call from her again, the officer checked and find out that the chq had went thru into another person account. So i asked alice to check who is the fellow... and told her dat i had filled up my name and account number behind. Maybe the money had gone thru my bank or wad... She asked me to go down to the bank to check... pass the officer my account number and the money was really in my bank... Alice finally relax abit after hearing dat... but i don haf any identification card with me, they cant reissue an atm card... so if i had to withdraw money got to bloody queue up... Due to time constrint, i choose not to do it today anyway alice also gif green light saying the money in my bank nxt time den calculate... hmmm.. since that person who stole my wallet so good still can bank in my cheque to me.... how i hope dat person will return me my ic and driving license... haix
Went to PS with brother... suddenly i remember i left my police report in dear's car... wtf... is impossible for me to walk all the way back and take lor... so we still go PS but i took my braclet only... Ate carl's jr with bro... i finish off the burger... left abit of bread haha... today keep feeling hungry... hmm... mensses coming soon making me hungry... Argg!!! hopefully i don grow fat after the burger... rush back to salon cos i haf to teach @ 4pm... Luckily only orientation nia... last bout 30mins... continue doing my documentation stuffs...
Msg between me and dear:
Dear: can see aunty and uncle dote on u alot
(i was telling him wad had been regarding the chq suddenly he reply this msg... ??? i replied him and asked wad does the chq issue got to do with aunty and uncle doting on me)
Dear: if u notice they treat u v.nice.. i also really scared u leave me cos wad me n rodin different?
if u can do it to him. i dun c y u cant do it to me.
(when i saw this msg, my mood straight away when down man... cos i don knw wad to reply him... if u r afriad so am i... i also afraid one day u will tell me i treat u too good and den leave me or im too sticky or wadever shit... In life no matter in r/s or career, there are alot of unforeseen circumstances... true enu... rodin and his family treat me very good and i admit i don cherish him... though he is trying his best to treat me good.... wad can i do??? i don wanna take advantage of the good things he did to me... the more he treat me good the more i need to reject him cos i don love him anymore... and dat he will find a better gal... i had try my best to put away negative thinking and y are u immerging urself in negative thoughts. haix...
Dear: i will leave if i cant take e insecurity but as 4 nw im ok. n same as u. i wana u be my wife
soon
(i asked him will u leave me if u feel insecure?)
Dear: maybe in 1 years time if we r ready cos i wana live e rest of my life with u!
(I asked him how soon? that was his replied... haha...
Dear: cos im love sick nw can! all becos of u nw i like this!
(i asked him how come 3 years time suddenly become 1 year liao cos we had an agreement if we managed to be together for 3 years den get married??? haha)
After all this sms, he called... chat awhile... den he had to go back to his work... I stay at salon till 8.30pm lor... Rodin was in salon uploading software into the new computer... This is the 1st time i saw him after bout 2 months or more i think... hmmm... i thought i will feel awkward... but seem ok lei... juz like normal friends... didnt talk much even talk also talk about work stuffs... went off to have dinner with wendy le...
yesh... im going jogging now with my brother... is 12.02am nw... this bloody shit still don wanna go jogging... later i jog half way faint cos too tired liao... haha... missin dear so much... didnt receive his msg... think no reception if not sleeping liao...
6th January 2009 (Tuesday)
1st time... we left each other more than 24hrs. As usual... gif me morning call. Busy doing ITEC audit stuff. but still smsing with dear.
Dear: checkin my mail lor. later 1.30pm goin out liao darlin. i freakin miss u nw! wad a day it was yesterday. so little time 2gether but i enjoyed e moment we look at each other at 4am!
Dear: not scare i bite u pain ma? dear! i wana tell u a secret! i really love u! dun u break my heart!
(Haha... he wanna bite me.. so i asked him to come bugis to bite me.. i willingly gif him bite cos i wanna see him... Haha)
Dear: u sure u wana be my wife. not easy leh! do u tell tat to all ur bf?
(today i have a new goal in life which is to be his wife... Wohooo.... sound scary right cos we got together less than 1 month nia... But i have a strng feeling i can hit my goal cos im willingly to give in my best in this r/s. Told him no one born in this world leave in easy life... haf to learn lor... didnt tell to any of my bf lar... think i got tell rodin once b4... but im disturbing him nia)
Dear: r u serious abt it? r u sure u wana be my wife? not scare regret?
(Ya im serious bout it...)
Dear: oks. lets get married!
(I told him if we get married both of our parents were killed us... need alot of money and planning as well. Ask him is he ready for marriage cos its life time commitment...
Dear: im sure dear. i wan u. and i wan u 2 b guai guai 4 me k? love u!
(i asked him guai guai mean my drinking session cos he juz feel worried when i drink)
Dear: np. jus dun make me worried lor.. small things u do to make me secure.
Dear: i darn miss u la! i hate this feelin away frm u!
Dear: im sure n im surprised tat u r better gf then expected. i knw u be a gd wife if u wan to, n i knw u want 2 b a gd wife 4 me 2 right?
(i asked him y is he sure dat im the one? )
Dear: i though u were jus a wild gal who only knw hw 2 enjoy urself n waste ur life away dun knw wad u wan. livin ur life day by day. dun do simple tings a gal do.etc cook, wash clothes or do simple housework.
(nw den i knw i leave such an impression to him...)
Dear: ya.but i knw i jus wanna be wit u.n i would had alot of things 2 do to change u 4 us to have happy relationship.tats y i so madly in love with u.cos u made it hard for me not 2 love u. so tats y i realli love u darlin.
(u are making me confused.....)
Dear: aiya,think i really make u confuse ald. its jus tat u made it easy 2 fall 4 u cos of e things u do 4 me. like a wife to me who take care n concern n understand 4 me even we are not married. i nvr had such a wonderful honeymoon period who would do anything i wana do with me. jus make it simple 4 me cos im always myself n happy when im wit u laopo!
(haha... i didnt knw all this things i did will make u fall for me madly... haha)
Was chatting on phone with dear after that. The 1st time chatting so long thru phone cos from the day we get together till now, we are sticking together if not working... Haha... Dear suggest me to change line to M1 and take up plan with free incoming or outgoing call so dat in future we can chat thru phone...
Dear ke lian, hungry and no cigarette to smoke... Haha wanna da bao for him he don wan.. until bout 10pm he had e urge to smoke den ask me soo bian buy supper also... chicken chop... Persuade my brother to go with me cos his camp very secluded somemore is inside cemetry lor. Took a cab over cost bout $9.40. Chcat awhile and den leave his camp... We didnt hug lor... den dear told me he wanted to hug me when we was bout to leave but i straightaway walk over to driver's seat. Aiya!!! feel like taking hammer to knock my head man... didnt realise he wanna hug me... Haha... no choice lor... have to wait till thursday... Arggg!!!! when he book out, i wanna hug him all night long....
Slept at 3am... and my toopix brother knock my door for cigarette.. Kaoz... cant sleep liao... toss on bed till 4am i think den fell asleep... Argggg!!!!
Dear: checkin my mail lor. later 1.30pm goin out liao darlin. i freakin miss u nw! wad a day it was yesterday. so little time 2gether but i enjoyed e moment we look at each other at 4am!
Dear: not scare i bite u pain ma? dear! i wana tell u a secret! i really love u! dun u break my heart!
(Haha... he wanna bite me.. so i asked him to come bugis to bite me.. i willingly gif him bite cos i wanna see him... Haha)
Dear: u sure u wana be my wife. not easy leh! do u tell tat to all ur bf?
(today i have a new goal in life which is to be his wife... Wohooo.... sound scary right cos we got together less than 1 month nia... But i have a strng feeling i can hit my goal cos im willingly to give in my best in this r/s. Told him no one born in this world leave in easy life... haf to learn lor... didnt tell to any of my bf lar... think i got tell rodin once b4... but im disturbing him nia)
Dear: r u serious abt it? r u sure u wana be my wife? not scare regret?
(Ya im serious bout it...)
Dear: oks. lets get married!
(I told him if we get married both of our parents were killed us... need alot of money and planning as well. Ask him is he ready for marriage cos its life time commitment...
Dear: im sure dear. i wan u. and i wan u 2 b guai guai 4 me k? love u!
(i asked him guai guai mean my drinking session cos he juz feel worried when i drink)
Dear: np. jus dun make me worried lor.. small things u do to make me secure.
Dear: i darn miss u la! i hate this feelin away frm u!
Dear: im sure n im surprised tat u r better gf then expected. i knw u be a gd wife if u wan to, n i knw u want 2 b a gd wife 4 me 2 right?
(i asked him y is he sure dat im the one? )
Dear: i though u were jus a wild gal who only knw hw 2 enjoy urself n waste ur life away dun knw wad u wan. livin ur life day by day. dun do simple tings a gal do.etc cook, wash clothes or do simple housework.
(nw den i knw i leave such an impression to him...)
Dear: ya.but i knw i jus wanna be wit u.n i would had alot of things 2 do to change u 4 us to have happy relationship.tats y i so madly in love with u.cos u made it hard for me not 2 love u. so tats y i realli love u darlin.
(u are making me confused.....)
Dear: aiya,think i really make u confuse ald. its jus tat u made it easy 2 fall 4 u cos of e things u do 4 me. like a wife to me who take care n concern n understand 4 me even we are not married. i nvr had such a wonderful honeymoon period who would do anything i wana do with me. jus make it simple 4 me cos im always myself n happy when im wit u laopo!
(haha... i didnt knw all this things i did will make u fall for me madly... haha)
Was chatting on phone with dear after that. The 1st time chatting so long thru phone cos from the day we get together till now, we are sticking together if not working... Haha... Dear suggest me to change line to M1 and take up plan with free incoming or outgoing call so dat in future we can chat thru phone...
Dear ke lian, hungry and no cigarette to smoke... Haha wanna da bao for him he don wan.. until bout 10pm he had e urge to smoke den ask me soo bian buy supper also... chicken chop... Persuade my brother to go with me cos his camp very secluded somemore is inside cemetry lor. Took a cab over cost bout $9.40. Chcat awhile and den leave his camp... We didnt hug lor... den dear told me he wanted to hug me when we was bout to leave but i straightaway walk over to driver's seat. Aiya!!! feel like taking hammer to knock my head man... didnt realise he wanna hug me... Haha... no choice lor... have to wait till thursday... Arggg!!!! when he book out, i wanna hug him all night long....
Slept at 3am... and my toopix brother knock my door for cigarette.. Kaoz... cant sleep liao... toss on bed till 4am i think den fell asleep... Argggg!!!!
5th January 2009 (Monday)
Dear called me to gif morning called... but.... after answering his call, i went back to slp again... Get back to work again...Monday blue.. Haix,... dear tml going out field... Sianx...
Went for lunch with wendy... @ lavender... for fish soup noodle... Was smsing with dear...
Dear: dear! i wanna gif all e love in e world 2 u!
Dear: dear i really really love love u! missin u v.much!
Dear: put same as darlin so other guys see u n me they knw they stand no chance at all!
(talking bout putting tattoo... and confirmed to put "crimpler" on ankle)
Dear: of cos! it is in us that we r cute. only our baby will b cuter than us
(was asking him why is he confident in our r/s?)
Dear: i miss u 2 darlin! can we get married nw!? im crazy ald!
Dear: i not scare leh. im fine with u in my life..
(was asking him not scare i always stick with him?)
I left work at 7pm today cos going shopping with Wendy @ Bugis Street... Walk and look until my eyes pain lor cos too many design, colour and pattern liao. Haf to leave Bugis at 8.15pm cos dear will reached home at 9pm... Luckily dear reached late cos his men fell from stairs...
Went to s11 buy porridge, french fries and carrot cake and walk back home... share porridge with dear... haha... today is our 1st time sleeping early. We slpt at 10+pm... haha... guess we are reali tired... Surprisingly, we woke up at 4am in the mornin. I juz happen to wake up and don knw why looking at him... Not long after, he also open eyes and look at me... Hmmm.... hahaha... Na4 Me4 Qiao3... how he knw i woke up and look at him? how come he also open his eyes and look at me... Asked him to get back to slp if not, he ot not enu sleep...
6.30am he left my hse... So sad.... Miss him man!!!!
Went for lunch with wendy... @ lavender... for fish soup noodle... Was smsing with dear...
Dear: dear! i wanna gif all e love in e world 2 u!
Dear: dear i really really love love u! missin u v.much!
Dear: put same as darlin so other guys see u n me they knw they stand no chance at all!
(talking bout putting tattoo... and confirmed to put "crimpler" on ankle)
Dear: of cos! it is in us that we r cute. only our baby will b cuter than us
(was asking him why is he confident in our r/s?)
Dear: i miss u 2 darlin! can we get married nw!? im crazy ald!
Dear: i not scare leh. im fine with u in my life..
(was asking him not scare i always stick with him?)
I left work at 7pm today cos going shopping with Wendy @ Bugis Street... Walk and look until my eyes pain lor cos too many design, colour and pattern liao. Haf to leave Bugis at 8.15pm cos dear will reached home at 9pm... Luckily dear reached late cos his men fell from stairs...
Went to s11 buy porridge, french fries and carrot cake and walk back home... share porridge with dear... haha... today is our 1st time sleeping early. We slpt at 10+pm... haha... guess we are reali tired... Surprisingly, we woke up at 4am in the mornin. I juz happen to wake up and don knw why looking at him... Not long after, he also open eyes and look at me... Hmmm.... hahaha... Na4 Me4 Qiao3... how he knw i woke up and look at him? how come he also open his eyes and look at me... Asked him to get back to slp if not, he ot not enu sleep...
6.30am he left my hse... So sad.... Miss him man!!!!
4th January 2008 (Sunday)
I woke up 1st around 8am+. Dear asked me go prepare 1st cos he very tired... After i washed up, dear told me he dont feel like going cos he is damn tired... So we continue to slp till 12pm... prepare to go to 2.30pm church..
Went to suntec food court eat Ipoh Hor Fun, my fav... b4 attending church... is was super full... When we reached overflowed room at level 6 we were told dat it was full... we went in to sit on the floor but luckily, the usher found exactly 2 seats for us... Haha...As usual... worshipping and preaching by Pastor Prince... Talking bout how to mange stress. Refrain your tongue from evil will make u find rest in yr 2009... Anyway, my dear was sleeping like a pig during the service... When Pastor Prince crack jokes everyone in the overflow room laugh like mad and yet he was still dozing away.... Haha.. ok lar.. understand dat he is tired at least he make an effort to go church with me... In the midst of the service, marie called and asked whether wanna meet at bugis shopping... told her after service i will called her...
After service went to smoke and den told dear marie and CY wanna meet us to Bugis shopping... Dear ok with it so we walked from suntec tower 3 to tower 2 cos dear wanna see nike shop i think. I went to try a jersey... Very nice...with blue and red strip... headed to meet them... We were talking bout putting wad tattoo again and dear wanna put "crimpler logo". Is a logo of a bag.... he said he saw ppl put very cute... Initial say wanna put at the hand... when we meet marie and CY told them we wanna put tattoo went to tattoo shop see got wad to put... den left the place after shopping level 2... To my surprise, i saw Ah Cao... Wohoo.. didnt see him for years and he got married with a kid too... happy for him man!! chat awhile and den left to eat dinner.
Dear suggested to eat fish head steamboat at beach rd... Reach there already 6pm+...and waited till 7+pm for the food to come... it was a long wait lor... everyone was damn hungry and the whole hawker full of ppl eating the fish head steamboat... but it reali nice... the soup base power... After food, we collect our car and went off... Halfway driving dear said wanted to put tattoo nw...and put crimpler... went back to salon take some cash with me and dear called CY see he interested to followed us anot... Haha.. they reali come... But i half hearted don knw wanna put crimpler cos it look weird putting "crimpler logo" on hand and afraid i will regret... ask dear to consider other pics... went back to the tattoo shop alot of ppl doing tattoo already... see picture of tribal, butterfly and lizard... i like the butterfly but is abit too girlish for a guy to put that... den dear said go home check internet den do tattoo since i have no idea wad to put...
Haix... see picture till i damn tired lor... Went back to dear hse cos he had to collect his army uniform and asked him to bring "heroes" movie and headed back home... As usual, dear reached home, bathe, watch his http://www.nba.com/. His favourite channel... and browse tattoos... around 12am we are lying on the bed trying to sleep. but cant reali sleep.... chat awhile b4 1am fell asleep already...
Went to suntec food court eat Ipoh Hor Fun, my fav... b4 attending church... is was super full... When we reached overflowed room at level 6 we were told dat it was full... we went in to sit on the floor but luckily, the usher found exactly 2 seats for us... Haha...As usual... worshipping and preaching by Pastor Prince... Talking bout how to mange stress. Refrain your tongue from evil will make u find rest in yr 2009... Anyway, my dear was sleeping like a pig during the service... When Pastor Prince crack jokes everyone in the overflow room laugh like mad and yet he was still dozing away.... Haha.. ok lar.. understand dat he is tired at least he make an effort to go church with me... In the midst of the service, marie called and asked whether wanna meet at bugis shopping... told her after service i will called her...
After service went to smoke and den told dear marie and CY wanna meet us to Bugis shopping... Dear ok with it so we walked from suntec tower 3 to tower 2 cos dear wanna see nike shop i think. I went to try a jersey... Very nice...with blue and red strip... headed to meet them... We were talking bout putting wad tattoo again and dear wanna put "crimpler logo". Is a logo of a bag.... he said he saw ppl put very cute... Initial say wanna put at the hand... when we meet marie and CY told them we wanna put tattoo went to tattoo shop see got wad to put... den left the place after shopping level 2... To my surprise, i saw Ah Cao... Wohoo.. didnt see him for years and he got married with a kid too... happy for him man!! chat awhile and den left to eat dinner.
Dear suggested to eat fish head steamboat at beach rd... Reach there already 6pm+...and waited till 7+pm for the food to come... it was a long wait lor... everyone was damn hungry and the whole hawker full of ppl eating the fish head steamboat... but it reali nice... the soup base power... After food, we collect our car and went off... Halfway driving dear said wanted to put tattoo nw...and put crimpler... went back to salon take some cash with me and dear called CY see he interested to followed us anot... Haha.. they reali come... But i half hearted don knw wanna put crimpler cos it look weird putting "crimpler logo" on hand and afraid i will regret... ask dear to consider other pics... went back to the tattoo shop alot of ppl doing tattoo already... see picture of tribal, butterfly and lizard... i like the butterfly but is abit too girlish for a guy to put that... den dear said go home check internet den do tattoo since i have no idea wad to put...
Haix... see picture till i damn tired lor... Went back to dear hse cos he had to collect his army uniform and asked him to bring "heroes" movie and headed back home... As usual, dear reached home, bathe, watch his http://www.nba.com/. His favourite channel... and browse tattoos... around 12am we are lying on the bed trying to sleep. but cant reali sleep.... chat awhile b4 1am fell asleep already...
3th January 2008 (Saturday)
Didnt go to work.... Sleep till 11am+ slack awhile around afternoon time den go to Taman Jurong Police Post made a report... that was around 3+pm... Toopix student create trouble lor... I knw this toopix chinese gal is a problematic person, i called cindy to make sure she can teach her cos im not going to salon as need to report police... Cindy promise me and guess wad... last min got too many facial customer cant teach her.... Uncle toni called me while im making report lor... OMG!!! Blood almost vomit out... If cindy cannot teach my student let me know in advacne so dat i can rearrange my timing rite... Kaoz... Luckily nv get scolding... cos that china student too guai lan uncle toni also cannot stand her.
When to POSB... intending to do my atm card... But i don have much cash... end up didnt do.. went to eat mac instead... kana disturb by dear lor thruout the trip at JP... anyway though kanna disturb but still very happy... think i need to go Mental Hospital check up liao see which nerve gone crazy... We chat about putting tattoo together... den talk about buying same jersey... So we left JP and went to queensway shopping centre... Looking for my sport shoes and jersey... Didnt found much... Left queenway bout 7pm to bugis to take some cash...
Headed to funeral @ Bukit Panjang which is dear's aunty's husband's mother... Hmmm... saw his mum and dad too... eat some food bout 10pm we left.
Went back home to seng shiong cos i wanna buy poky to eat... Marie called... asked wanna go "beds" with them... so we went back changed and go down... Marie they all reached 1st so she sms me see whether are we on our way... I was putting on makeup so dear replied her... saying my princess is putting on makeup so that later she can go for interview @ Beds... Wth??? where got such bf one??? but i knw he is kidding lar... he is becoming more and more mischevious... didnt drink alot that day... didnt reali play games... jeff, kok, marie, cy, bs, emily, soosin playing poker card... me and dear listen to other ppl singing... Den someone sms me twice.. I didnt get his sms cos i left my hp on the table. When i look at my hp, saw his (Ken) sms. 1st sms, he asked "heard that u lost ur wallet?" 2nd sms " are u still angry me, im juz concerning a friend who had lost her wallet, dats all"... After seeing his 2nd sms, i pondered awhile on whether to reply anot? If don reply, later in salon not very nice afterall i still have to face him for so many months... So i replied short and sweet saying "thank for ur concern. Yes,i had lost my wallet" Dear didnt see the 1st 2 sms.... when the 3rd sms rang, dear asked who send, i didnt rely cos by opening the sms, defintely can see the sender's name... he wrote "did you report police". Once dear saw the sender name, his face change again... Kaoz... me stress liao lor... I talk to him, he don reali wan to answer or gif me eye contact lor... So i sms saying "pls don sms me already cos my bf don reali like although we are friends" and show wad i have text to dear... He didnt wan to see wad i text lor and straight away get up and go toilet... I followed him to the toilet and wanna expain to him... dont think dear buy my story man!!! He juz told me... if im angry, i will tell u... I was like... wad e hell... ur face already tell me u r pissed!!! So i went back to our seat, get a cigarette and went to smoke. Marie sense something not very right... came out with me and asked me wad happened... Told marie the whole story about the sms tingy... I told marie, i cant stop ppl from liking me or wad... not as if they don knw i haf a bf... If i hide from them dat i don haf a bf den its another issue. but nw ken knw dat i had a bf and he is based on a friend's status to concern... replying him is juz a polite gesture issnt? Hmmm... After smoking 1 stickof cigarette, cy, bs and dear came out to smoke too... Went back to his side... as usual hold his hand... start to talk alittle... Slowly, dear okie already... Hmmm.. seriously, if i don love you, i dont think i will make an effort to hold ur arms man!!! cos i still feel that u r being unreasonable....
I stop drinking after dat cos feeling my heartbeat beating faster and having pain in the chest... dear also asked me not to drink. Take a cup of warm water to drink... Left marie, cy, bs and emily drinking nia. 15min more the pub closing and they left 1 jug and 3 quarter of beer still haven clear.... Both of us are tired somemore tml have to wake up at 8am to pay the last visit to his relative's mother. We went back 1st....
When to POSB... intending to do my atm card... But i don have much cash... end up didnt do.. went to eat mac instead... kana disturb by dear lor thruout the trip at JP... anyway though kanna disturb but still very happy... think i need to go Mental Hospital check up liao see which nerve gone crazy... We chat about putting tattoo together... den talk about buying same jersey... So we left JP and went to queensway shopping centre... Looking for my sport shoes and jersey... Didnt found much... Left queenway bout 7pm to bugis to take some cash...
Headed to funeral @ Bukit Panjang which is dear's aunty's husband's mother... Hmmm... saw his mum and dad too... eat some food bout 10pm we left.
Went back home to seng shiong cos i wanna buy poky to eat... Marie called... asked wanna go "beds" with them... so we went back changed and go down... Marie they all reached 1st so she sms me see whether are we on our way... I was putting on makeup so dear replied her... saying my princess is putting on makeup so that later she can go for interview @ Beds... Wth??? where got such bf one??? but i knw he is kidding lar... he is becoming more and more mischevious... didnt drink alot that day... didnt reali play games... jeff, kok, marie, cy, bs, emily, soosin playing poker card... me and dear listen to other ppl singing... Den someone sms me twice.. I didnt get his sms cos i left my hp on the table. When i look at my hp, saw his (Ken) sms. 1st sms, he asked "heard that u lost ur wallet?" 2nd sms " are u still angry me, im juz concerning a friend who had lost her wallet, dats all"... After seeing his 2nd sms, i pondered awhile on whether to reply anot? If don reply, later in salon not very nice afterall i still have to face him for so many months... So i replied short and sweet saying "thank for ur concern. Yes,i had lost my wallet" Dear didnt see the 1st 2 sms.... when the 3rd sms rang, dear asked who send, i didnt rely cos by opening the sms, defintely can see the sender's name... he wrote "did you report police". Once dear saw the sender name, his face change again... Kaoz... me stress liao lor... I talk to him, he don reali wan to answer or gif me eye contact lor... So i sms saying "pls don sms me already cos my bf don reali like although we are friends" and show wad i have text to dear... He didnt wan to see wad i text lor and straight away get up and go toilet... I followed him to the toilet and wanna expain to him... dont think dear buy my story man!!! He juz told me... if im angry, i will tell u... I was like... wad e hell... ur face already tell me u r pissed!!! So i went back to our seat, get a cigarette and went to smoke. Marie sense something not very right... came out with me and asked me wad happened... Told marie the whole story about the sms tingy... I told marie, i cant stop ppl from liking me or wad... not as if they don knw i haf a bf... If i hide from them dat i don haf a bf den its another issue. but nw ken knw dat i had a bf and he is based on a friend's status to concern... replying him is juz a polite gesture issnt? Hmmm... After smoking 1 stickof cigarette, cy, bs and dear came out to smoke too... Went back to his side... as usual hold his hand... start to talk alittle... Slowly, dear okie already... Hmmm.. seriously, if i don love you, i dont think i will make an effort to hold ur arms man!!! cos i still feel that u r being unreasonable....
I stop drinking after dat cos feeling my heartbeat beating faster and having pain in the chest... dear also asked me not to drink. Take a cup of warm water to drink... Left marie, cy, bs and emily drinking nia. 15min more the pub closing and they left 1 jug and 3 quarter of beer still haven clear.... Both of us are tired somemore tml have to wake up at 8am to pay the last visit to his relative's mother. We went back 1st....
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
2th January 2008 (Friday)
I spent the whole day calculating my commission and finally i got my pay and commission today. Intially i wanted to take $400 cash to buy clothes since dear is acccompanying me to shop. Wendy told me is better not to carry so many money... so i took $165 cas instead... After collecting my cash and cheque, went to Bugis Junction walk walk. Bought a show from "Mitju" at @$25 i think after discount...
Decided to eat @ long john silver. Order combo 1 and started munching away. Thankx to dear... Accidentally spill off the water on my skirt... Argg!!! No choice.. have to let it dry naturely. Went to bugis street... walk around and i intend to buy a tube from one of the shops here. Asked dear to take out my wallet and he found dat my wallet was not in my bag. Headed straight back to Long John Silver cos it was the last station i took out my wallet. The manager told me dat after i left they were ppl siting at my place... Guess.. my wallet had been taken away... Super bad mood cos my IC was inside and this is the 3rd time i had lost it.... $500 fly away + my driving license and cheque lor... Luckily wendy stopped me from taking so many cash if not i think i cry also no tears come out... wAD a good start for yr 2009.... Told alice bout it and kanna nag again. Ask her to void the cheque juz in case. Went back to salon to get some cash from alice... Nagging starts again this time round 2 mouths nag including uncle toni's one... I understand cos they dote on me and wanted this issue to get into my head so dat nxt time i wont lost stuffs again... Im touched when alice suggested to make a police report and accompany me to Long John Silver to confronted the manager again... but still the same reply... they don have cctv in the shop so even report police to check also no used...
Super bad mood!!! On the way to the car, dear console me a little.. He didnt talk much though. Told him i wanna go sing... So we went to "Cocoon", he sing and i drink... Took some picture in cocoon too... Dear saw his primary school friend and they chat awhile. After that, i suggested to go club since nxt friday dear on duty and i feel like going clubbing. If i go with friends, dear confirmed worried bout me... To my surprise, dear agreed my ridiculous request... It was already 12am+... he went back to change pants. Took some pictures while witing for him to change...
Excitied... 1st time going clubbing with my bf alone lor... juz both of us... i wanted to go fly since is so near to his hse... Reach st james, i need to go toilet badly.. when to the toilet in between boilers and movida... Happen to see Shenn... and she is damn drunk... She asked me to accompany her to toilet cos she wants to vomit... I was worrying bout dear cos he is outside waiting.... 10min passed, 15min passed.... time ticked fast and shenn is still vomitting.. She had drank too much le... Luckily, her friend saw her and i asked her friend to look after her and i quickly rushed out to find dear... Hmmm... well... face super black.... Proceed to fly... felt quite funny cos don knw where to dance and dear don knw how to dance trance music... Actualli not trance lei... mixture of trance and rnb i feel. Anyway, walk one round heading toward smoking room, saw Wendy... Wsh... so happy man.. At least there are friends in fly not so lonely... n wendy was with some of my damn old friends...which were friends of calvin... bout 6 to 7 years ago.. They still looked the same but look decent nw.. Haha... dance with wendy and dear face still black black... Talk to dear... he say nothing... ask me go dance with my friend cos he don knw how to dance... hmmm... now i knw when dear not happy, juz like me, when ppl asked, reply will be "no im not angry" but face still black.... Haha... not bad.. let me taste back my own medicine when i do that to my exs.
Anyway went back home bout 3am.... super shag... Love my dear so much even though his face black... Muackz muackz muackz
Decided to eat @ long john silver. Order combo 1 and started munching away. Thankx to dear... Accidentally spill off the water on my skirt... Argg!!! No choice.. have to let it dry naturely. Went to bugis street... walk around and i intend to buy a tube from one of the shops here. Asked dear to take out my wallet and he found dat my wallet was not in my bag. Headed straight back to Long John Silver cos it was the last station i took out my wallet. The manager told me dat after i left they were ppl siting at my place... Guess.. my wallet had been taken away... Super bad mood cos my IC was inside and this is the 3rd time i had lost it.... $500 fly away + my driving license and cheque lor... Luckily wendy stopped me from taking so many cash if not i think i cry also no tears come out... wAD a good start for yr 2009.... Told alice bout it and kanna nag again. Ask her to void the cheque juz in case. Went back to salon to get some cash from alice... Nagging starts again this time round 2 mouths nag including uncle toni's one... I understand cos they dote on me and wanted this issue to get into my head so dat nxt time i wont lost stuffs again... Im touched when alice suggested to make a police report and accompany me to Long John Silver to confronted the manager again... but still the same reply... they don have cctv in the shop so even report police to check also no used...
Super bad mood!!! On the way to the car, dear console me a little.. He didnt talk much though. Told him i wanna go sing... So we went to "Cocoon", he sing and i drink... Took some picture in cocoon too... Dear saw his primary school friend and they chat awhile. After that, i suggested to go club since nxt friday dear on duty and i feel like going clubbing. If i go with friends, dear confirmed worried bout me... To my surprise, dear agreed my ridiculous request... It was already 12am+... he went back to change pants. Took some pictures while witing for him to change...
Excitied... 1st time going clubbing with my bf alone lor... juz both of us... i wanted to go fly since is so near to his hse... Reach st james, i need to go toilet badly.. when to the toilet in between boilers and movida... Happen to see Shenn... and she is damn drunk... She asked me to accompany her to toilet cos she wants to vomit... I was worrying bout dear cos he is outside waiting.... 10min passed, 15min passed.... time ticked fast and shenn is still vomitting.. She had drank too much le... Luckily, her friend saw her and i asked her friend to look after her and i quickly rushed out to find dear... Hmmm... well... face super black.... Proceed to fly... felt quite funny cos don knw where to dance and dear don knw how to dance trance music... Actualli not trance lei... mixture of trance and rnb i feel. Anyway, walk one round heading toward smoking room, saw Wendy... Wsh... so happy man.. At least there are friends in fly not so lonely... n wendy was with some of my damn old friends...which were friends of calvin... bout 6 to 7 years ago.. They still looked the same but look decent nw.. Haha... dance with wendy and dear face still black black... Talk to dear... he say nothing... ask me go dance with my friend cos he don knw how to dance... hmmm... now i knw when dear not happy, juz like me, when ppl asked, reply will be "no im not angry" but face still black.... Haha... not bad.. let me taste back my own medicine when i do that to my exs.
Anyway went back home bout 3am.... super shag... Love my dear so much even though his face black... Muackz muackz muackz
1st January 2009 (Thursday)
This is the 1st day of Year 2009. We both slept till afternoon. Didnt go out and eat instead we had tom yam maggi mee... have been eating maggi mee lately haha... He was playing his game while im in the living room watching "the outsider".
We went to pet farm @ pasir ris... it was about 5+pm already. Many many dogs. Saw a dog very cute with long body and short leg... cost $1588... Super expensive lor...
Went to bedok hawker centre for dinner. I ate century egg porridge and dear ate pork porridge. I also ordered gnoh hiong (2 pics) and dessert will be riceball soup... Yummie yummie!!! Eat until wanna vomit lor... Damn full...
Spend the rest of the night with dear @ hm ;)
We went to pet farm @ pasir ris... it was about 5+pm already. Many many dogs. Saw a dog very cute with long body and short leg... cost $1588... Super expensive lor...
Went to bedok hawker centre for dinner. I ate century egg porridge and dear ate pork porridge. I also ordered gnoh hiong (2 pics) and dessert will be riceball soup... Yummie yummie!!! Eat until wanna vomit lor... Damn full...
Spend the rest of the night with dear @ hm ;)
Monday, January 5, 2009
31th December 2008 (Wednesday)
I think im nuts.... Early in the morning @ 1am, me and dear go jogging... I think WE ARE CRAZY!!! 1st time in my life jog early in the morning and such a long distance. Went to jog from his hse to almost reach vivo city.... Intial target was Vivo city... but i cant run anymore... still have to consider the strength left to jog back from vivo to his hse. God man!!! i sweat like a dog... my face are dam red.... finish jogging at 3+am and headed home.
Didnt work today as im still in holiday mood... Haha... Wake up in the afternoon around 1pm i think.... Slack awhile and dear was paying his soccer game. We suppose to buy some food for tonight's event "Pyjames Nite". Marie called and asked us wanna join them to JB to shop and buy food at Jusco at the same time.
We met them at Tebrau City Jusco.... E shopping centre was damn huge... The interior look abit like vivo city with almost same shops as vivo. Haha... Went to Padini to look for Marie. Saw a pair of heels at Vincci and there are promotion also. Cost bout $30 sin dollar. Hmmm... I tell myself im going to buy it during the nxt trip.... Went to Jusco and bought 2 roast chicken and 20 jumbo sausage with 5 different flavours. Haha!!! Left Jusco and go for car washing, me and dear are famishing cos we didnt had anything at all... Went to eat ikan penyet at one of the food stall. Too bad, they didnt sell ikan today.... ended up eating ayam penyet... Is also nice. Marie also went to order anther plate for herself and CY.
We were damn shag already... i fell asleep on the way back home. Even lazy to bath lor but marie keep smsming meeting wad time as we suppose to fetch them. Hmmm... have to pull myself out of the bed and went to bath... Dear even more power... still can play game when reach home.... Took some pictures wearing our "couple PJ"... and went down to fetch marie...
CY dare not wear PJ... haha... he went back to his own hse and change... He is too big size and tall which make him as if wearing a mini skirt... Haha... Marie and CY didnt wear the PJ dat we bought together at chinatown cos is too short for CY... CY wore marie's other PJ instead...
Reach there talk cock... eat and eat.. Didnt reali drink much while playing games... Play true or dare... so toopix kanna video by CY... anyway we also took picture of them doing some toopix moves... Haha... This is the 1st year im celebrating New Year Day with Marie after knwing her for 10 years... Lol... Ke lian dear... Having diaherra... Keep going in and out of toilet... Hmmm... We stay till 4am+ and went back home...
My 1st New Year Celebration with dear and Marie... Have many many tiny wishes... I believe all of my tiny wishes will come thru...
Didnt work today as im still in holiday mood... Haha... Wake up in the afternoon around 1pm i think.... Slack awhile and dear was paying his soccer game. We suppose to buy some food for tonight's event "Pyjames Nite". Marie called and asked us wanna join them to JB to shop and buy food at Jusco at the same time.
We met them at Tebrau City Jusco.... E shopping centre was damn huge... The interior look abit like vivo city with almost same shops as vivo. Haha... Went to Padini to look for Marie. Saw a pair of heels at Vincci and there are promotion also. Cost bout $30 sin dollar. Hmmm... I tell myself im going to buy it during the nxt trip.... Went to Jusco and bought 2 roast chicken and 20 jumbo sausage with 5 different flavours. Haha!!! Left Jusco and go for car washing, me and dear are famishing cos we didnt had anything at all... Went to eat ikan penyet at one of the food stall. Too bad, they didnt sell ikan today.... ended up eating ayam penyet... Is also nice. Marie also went to order anther plate for herself and CY.
We were damn shag already... i fell asleep on the way back home. Even lazy to bath lor but marie keep smsming meeting wad time as we suppose to fetch them. Hmmm... have to pull myself out of the bed and went to bath... Dear even more power... still can play game when reach home.... Took some pictures wearing our "couple PJ"... and went down to fetch marie...
CY dare not wear PJ... haha... he went back to his own hse and change... He is too big size and tall which make him as if wearing a mini skirt... Haha... Marie and CY didnt wear the PJ dat we bought together at chinatown cos is too short for CY... CY wore marie's other PJ instead...
Reach there talk cock... eat and eat.. Didnt reali drink much while playing games... Play true or dare... so toopix kanna video by CY... anyway we also took picture of them doing some toopix moves... Haha... This is the 1st year im celebrating New Year Day with Marie after knwing her for 10 years... Lol... Ke lian dear... Having diaherra... Keep going in and out of toilet... Hmmm... We stay till 4am+ and went back home...
My 1st New Year Celebration with dear and Marie... Have many many tiny wishes... I believe all of my tiny wishes will come thru...
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