Today i took public transport to work... Hmmmm.... Went for lunch with Wendy, ate Pon Tian Wan Ton Mee... Chat about her secrets... Had been a long while since we had such a long talk... cos my time had been split with dear.. Haha....
Went to OG to find Pyjames as New Year Party is around the corner le. OG is having sales, bra and panties @ cheap prices... Saw a few pyjames some very sexy some are 2 pieces pyjames.
@ nite went to chinatown to find pyjames with marie and CY... Have dinner at pearl centre before going to shop around... We manage to buy couple pyjames at $5 each... Is so cheap... I and dear choose a light pink pyjames with cartoon's print... Marie and CY bought different design with bear prints.
Headed home after dat...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
28th December 2008 (Sunday)
Finally go to church, have been missing church session for bout 2 months. 1st outing to church with dear. Wah... Im glad dat you went to church with me even though u are not christian. Enjoy every moment with u during and after church. Today service very packed is becos it was the last sunday of Year 2008. Pastor Prince preach bout the good news of Yr 2009... Telling us bout the meaning of saying "Amen". Full of laughter during the services. Enjoy being in the presence of god and feeding god words. Pastor Prince also preach about being positive... Hmmm...
After church, we went to mummy's workplace sing song... Haha even got 2 video of dear singing and 1 video of mummy singing.... Wohoo.... 1st bf went to my mummy workplace somemore to sing.... haha... cos mum workplace normally only aunties and uncles go there and sing. But i like their karaoke system. POWER!!! dear sang "Ni Ba Wo Guan Zui", "I will always Love You" and "In Love with U". Haha.... dear even went up to the stage to sing... Don even haf any stage fright lor... haha... After dat, we went to have dinner with mummy @ nearby kopitiam. As usual some those aunties, and den they started saying "U and mummy look alike" blar, blar, blar. Have been hearing dat since young...
A tiring day after the singing session, went home sleep..... until 10pm+ Marie Thang called... returning my ic... Went to sleep again and den another phone call from her saying she already downstair.... I wear another robe on top of my sleeping clothes and went down with dear. Haha... happy dat dear accompany me down though he is tired.
Went back to my room, i look at him and he look at me... Gosh!!! we are damn awake lor... ahaha... Decide to go gif marie a surprise cos they going for prawning... We changed and went down to 4y and didnt see thier car there... they ended up at Bedok prawning.... Went down and see them prawning.... Had quite alot of fun and pic taking... Dear help up with starting up fire and poking the prawn for bbqing. Imagine the prawn is still alife and they haf to use satay stick to poke the prawn. Haha... Some prawn very funny, after poking it, they still can crawl away from the plate... There is 1 giant prawn with a super long blue pincher lor. It is so scary dear insist of taking picture lor... Intially he tell me each of us to take 1 prawn up and take pic... I was like.. i don wan it is so scary and disgusting... Haha.. Ended up he lift up the prawn and we take pics together with the prawn... We also manage to prawn 1 big prawn and we bbq and eat it... Haix... think i will go to hell when i die.... so zhe er....
Reach home 4am already.. ke lian dear.... Only get to slp for 2 hrs..... Love u a million time.....
After church, we went to mummy's workplace sing song... Haha even got 2 video of dear singing and 1 video of mummy singing.... Wohoo.... 1st bf went to my mummy workplace somemore to sing.... haha... cos mum workplace normally only aunties and uncles go there and sing. But i like their karaoke system. POWER!!! dear sang "Ni Ba Wo Guan Zui", "I will always Love You" and "In Love with U". Haha.... dear even went up to the stage to sing... Don even haf any stage fright lor... haha... After dat, we went to have dinner with mummy @ nearby kopitiam. As usual some those aunties, and den they started saying "U and mummy look alike" blar, blar, blar. Have been hearing dat since young...
A tiring day after the singing session, went home sleep..... until 10pm+ Marie Thang called... returning my ic... Went to sleep again and den another phone call from her saying she already downstair.... I wear another robe on top of my sleeping clothes and went down with dear. Haha... happy dat dear accompany me down though he is tired.
Went back to my room, i look at him and he look at me... Gosh!!! we are damn awake lor... ahaha... Decide to go gif marie a surprise cos they going for prawning... We changed and went down to 4y and didnt see thier car there... they ended up at Bedok prawning.... Went down and see them prawning.... Had quite alot of fun and pic taking... Dear help up with starting up fire and poking the prawn for bbqing. Imagine the prawn is still alife and they haf to use satay stick to poke the prawn. Haha... Some prawn very funny, after poking it, they still can crawl away from the plate... There is 1 giant prawn with a super long blue pincher lor. It is so scary dear insist of taking picture lor... Intially he tell me each of us to take 1 prawn up and take pic... I was like.. i don wan it is so scary and disgusting... Haha.. Ended up he lift up the prawn and we take pics together with the prawn... We also manage to prawn 1 big prawn and we bbq and eat it... Haix... think i will go to hell when i die.... so zhe er....
Reach home 4am already.. ke lian dear.... Only get to slp for 2 hrs..... Love u a million time.....
Saturday, December 27, 2008
27th December 2008 (Saturday)
Im late for work again... Reach salon at 1pm... Im getting worst man... Haix... The best part is i didnt reali do work stuff lor... Siting in front of the comp do some paperwork and den check my facebook, chat with dear in msn thruout the day. Talking bout wad type of jobs am i interested in, bout studying, bout us and bout outing...
Outing issue has brought forward till today le... He was trying to pyschco me go home watch HK drama show instead of going out with marie... haix... sometime im wondering why every r/s keep giving me this problem... Becos of wad i did dat y they react or wad? haix... anyway... manage to solve the problem... actuali to me, i don think it reali solve the problem cos he is giving in to me. Though he feel uncomfortable when i go out with friends but another side he cannot tied my freedom down. Basically, he is giving himself time to get used of it... In other words mean tolerating me till one day he reaches his limit... This is the commitment im talking bout when comes to r/s... It is very difficult to balance play time and spending time with loves one. Back to square one, learn to give and take... Since im aldy in a r/s and i reali love him, haf to make some scarifices lor... and some communication as well for future outings.
Chat till 4am in the morning in msn... Chat and chat.... He told me dat if we can last for more than 3 years, he will marry me... Wohoooo.... Shocked to hear dat but yet happy dat he reali do love me and dat i do not regret choosing him as my bf or maybe lifetime partner or though sometime he can be weird... haha... Sometime out of sudden, he will tell me he is afraid dat some day i will leave him or suddenly he will kiss me and tell me he love me... All this small small thing he did reali touched me. Maybe to me, it proves dat he do cherish me... Im feel so xin fu when im with him... hopefully this feeling will last forever...
Outing issue has brought forward till today le... He was trying to pyschco me go home watch HK drama show instead of going out with marie... haix... sometime im wondering why every r/s keep giving me this problem... Becos of wad i did dat y they react or wad? haix... anyway... manage to solve the problem... actuali to me, i don think it reali solve the problem cos he is giving in to me. Though he feel uncomfortable when i go out with friends but another side he cannot tied my freedom down. Basically, he is giving himself time to get used of it... In other words mean tolerating me till one day he reaches his limit... This is the commitment im talking bout when comes to r/s... It is very difficult to balance play time and spending time with loves one. Back to square one, learn to give and take... Since im aldy in a r/s and i reali love him, haf to make some scarifices lor... and some communication as well for future outings.
Chat till 4am in the morning in msn... Chat and chat.... He told me dat if we can last for more than 3 years, he will marry me... Wohoooo.... Shocked to hear dat but yet happy dat he reali do love me and dat i do not regret choosing him as my bf or maybe lifetime partner or though sometime he can be weird... haha... Sometime out of sudden, he will tell me he is afraid dat some day i will leave him or suddenly he will kiss me and tell me he love me... All this small small thing he did reali touched me. Maybe to me, it proves dat he do cherish me... Im feel so xin fu when im with him... hopefully this feeling will last forever...
Friday, December 26, 2008
26th December 2008
Im late for work again!!!! Argg!!! Sometime i cant stand myself too. Was sleeping like pig with dear... Today is our 15th day together. Hmmm... Though we had agreement saying in our r/s, we will not want to have a sticky r/s, but it seem like we had been sticking together for 15days liao except 2 days which he is in camp. As usual, he send me to work and had lunch at Macdonald in Bugis Village.
Back to work.... Another bored day without him by my side. Haix... but still i got good news... Finally my company is approved by ITEC. had been doing this stupid qualification for months liao and had been asking by bosses regarding the process, whether is it approved... Finally everything end liao... Proceeding to another level which is the audition part on 9th Jan 09. Hope everything goes well....
Was chatting with dear at the same time blogging now. Might be going out with marie... Yesh... Finally can meet them... Intially dear don wanna go and he is on duty tml. So i suggest to him dat i'll ask marie to postpone e outing tml instead. Dear den said this during msn:
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
if not meeting today den i ask marie to postpone the outing tml can?
Royce says:
we go today lor
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
y?
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
thought u don wanna go?
Royce says:
anything
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
if u don feel like going den don go lor...tml i den go out with them...
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
don force urself ok?
Royce says:
muhaha
Royce says:
i rather go out wif u then tml u stay at home!
Royce says:
WAhahaha!
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
wah.....y lei???scare i MIA again?
Royce says:
yes
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
orh.... u don trust me???
Royce says:
yar
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
wad the hell?€ why don trust me?
Royce says:
coz u haven earn my trust
Royce says:
1st time go out give me such a stun ald
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
but u didnt gif me a chance to earn my trust
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
the 1st outing is accident...
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
going out with marie they all u shld feel safe lor....
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
cos normally they send me home one lei
Royce says:
trust is gain..
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
wad do u mean by trust is gain?
Royce says:
u tell me how to trust...when the 1st time u go out nvr go home on time n so late..even though not ur fault
Royce says:
but its by not having all tis then can gain trust
Royce says:
am i correct or not?
Royce says:
the whole 12 hrs when u were out i was having a roller coaster ride in camp
Royce says:
till the point i feel like running out of camp to find u
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
hmmmm...nothing to say...
will find my way to gain back ur trust den...
Royce says:
oki thanks
Haix.... I must gain back the trust if not .... die liao lor.... cant go out with friends when he is not around... Haix...
In the evening time, he told me i can go meet my friends cos im not machine and he cant juz press no button and i cant go... Some kind of good news ya. Hmmm.... but sounded not willingly though. As usual came to fetch me from work and to Jurong Point meeting marie for dinner.
BS and wife ended up joining us as well and today was aaron actual bday. Decided to go "Halo Bar" for celebration. Hmmm... Aaron quarrelled with janice. She didnt go with us. End result still the same, Aaron was drunk... And he is making far too much noise. I even had the video clip of how he create a scene in the guy toilet. Was still wondering who used my hp to video him... Send him back home and we reach home around 4am already.
Was chatting with dear. He told me dat his parents are unhappy with him becos he dump his ex and she treat him very good and in such a short time, he get involved in another new r/s. Haix... And i also worried cos while we were at Halo Bar, marie was telling me dat someone told her bout royce changing alot of gf... The most stunning part is most of our sec sch friends who are close to Royce bet that we wont last long. The shortest is 6months, longest 1 year 6 months. Seriously, at that moment, i feel damn lost. Im afraid of getting hurt lor... marie comforted me by saying is juz other ppl comment. She even defended me by telling that somebody wad dear had done for me (the handmade present) and she can tell by dear's action dat he is not that kind who wanna toy my feeling. Emily also say i shld give myself 2 months time cos right now we r still going thru honeymoon period. My tears are going to roll out of my eyes already lor... Luckily, im good at controlling tears in public if not.... I realise something... Since when do i become a cry baby... abit abit tear going to drop... Oh My God!!! Dont like this feeling.
I did told dear bout this issue and he told me he only got 8 ex gf... the 6th ex gf onward consider serious r/s. He asked me whether i wan to walk this road with him anot... Of cos yes lar... how can i run away from problems... And i knw we can face problems together.
I did asked him to maybe sometime go back home sleep if not his parent thought i kidnap their son... but he don wan cos he go home also not happy... after talking with him, i den feel at ease dat he reali love me now and he is reali putting effort in this r/s. We chat till 5.30am in the morning and he had to wake up at 7am to work. Oh my god... another shag day for him...
Back to work.... Another bored day without him by my side. Haix... but still i got good news... Finally my company is approved by ITEC. had been doing this stupid qualification for months liao and had been asking by bosses regarding the process, whether is it approved... Finally everything end liao... Proceeding to another level which is the audition part on 9th Jan 09. Hope everything goes well....
Was chatting with dear at the same time blogging now. Might be going out with marie... Yesh... Finally can meet them... Intially dear don wanna go and he is on duty tml. So i suggest to him dat i'll ask marie to postpone e outing tml instead. Dear den said this during msn:
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
if not meeting today den i ask marie to postpone the outing tml can?
Royce says:
we go today lor
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
y?
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
thought u don wanna go?
Royce says:
anything
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
if u don feel like going den don go lor...tml i den go out with them...
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
don force urself ok?
Royce says:
muhaha
Royce says:
i rather go out wif u then tml u stay at home!
Royce says:
WAhahaha!
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
wah.....y lei???scare i MIA again?
Royce says:
yes
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
orh.... u don trust me???
Royce says:
yar
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
wad the hell?€ why don trust me?
Royce says:
coz u haven earn my trust
Royce says:
1st time go out give me such a stun ald
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
but u didnt gif me a chance to earn my trust
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
the 1st outing is accident...
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
going out with marie they all u shld feel safe lor....
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
cos normally they send me home one lei
Royce says:
trust is gain..
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
wad do u mean by trust is gain?
Royce says:
u tell me how to trust...when the 1st time u go out nvr go home on time n so late..even though not ur fault
Royce says:
but its by not having all tis then can gain trust
Royce says:
am i correct or not?
Royce says:
the whole 12 hrs when u were out i was having a roller coaster ride in camp
Royce says:
till the point i feel like running out of camp to find u
Im enjoying every secs, mins & hrs of my life with you... 1st time ever celebrating xmas @hm with bro and "U"!!! says:
hmmmm...nothing to say...
will find my way to gain back ur trust den...
Royce says:
oki thanks
Haix.... I must gain back the trust if not .... die liao lor.... cant go out with friends when he is not around... Haix...
In the evening time, he told me i can go meet my friends cos im not machine and he cant juz press no button and i cant go... Some kind of good news ya. Hmmm.... but sounded not willingly though. As usual came to fetch me from work and to Jurong Point meeting marie for dinner.
BS and wife ended up joining us as well and today was aaron actual bday. Decided to go "Halo Bar" for celebration. Hmmm... Aaron quarrelled with janice. She didnt go with us. End result still the same, Aaron was drunk... And he is making far too much noise. I even had the video clip of how he create a scene in the guy toilet. Was still wondering who used my hp to video him... Send him back home and we reach home around 4am already.
Was chatting with dear. He told me dat his parents are unhappy with him becos he dump his ex and she treat him very good and in such a short time, he get involved in another new r/s. Haix... And i also worried cos while we were at Halo Bar, marie was telling me dat someone told her bout royce changing alot of gf... The most stunning part is most of our sec sch friends who are close to Royce bet that we wont last long. The shortest is 6months, longest 1 year 6 months. Seriously, at that moment, i feel damn lost. Im afraid of getting hurt lor... marie comforted me by saying is juz other ppl comment. She even defended me by telling that somebody wad dear had done for me (the handmade present) and she can tell by dear's action dat he is not that kind who wanna toy my feeling. Emily also say i shld give myself 2 months time cos right now we r still going thru honeymoon period. My tears are going to roll out of my eyes already lor... Luckily, im good at controlling tears in public if not.... I realise something... Since when do i become a cry baby... abit abit tear going to drop... Oh My God!!! Dont like this feeling.
I did told dear bout this issue and he told me he only got 8 ex gf... the 6th ex gf onward consider serious r/s. He asked me whether i wan to walk this road with him anot... Of cos yes lar... how can i run away from problems... And i knw we can face problems together.
I did asked him to maybe sometime go back home sleep if not his parent thought i kidnap their son... but he don wan cos he go home also not happy... after talking with him, i den feel at ease dat he reali love me now and he is reali putting effort in this r/s. We chat till 5.30am in the morning and he had to wake up at 7am to work. Oh my god... another shag day for him...
Xmas Celebration 24th December to 25th December 2008
24th Dec 08
This is my 1st time celebrating xmas with him. We were at home sleeping, ate nasi lemak in the afternoon, watching movie and slacking at home. While having our lunch @ Boon Lay Nasi Lemak, hetold me that he had to go over to his aunt hse for celebration awhile and im following him. Initially, i didnt get what he said so I told him i go eat steamboat with Marie they all while waiting for him. den his reply was like "up to you lor". I sensed something is not right so I ask him if i don go eat steamboat with marie they all, then where am i suppose to go. he den replied, followed me to my aunt hse. I was liked "huh? den ur parents and relatives are going to see me. He said sooner or later they will know bout my presence.
Actually im half happy and half worried cos I don knw wad will happened when i reached there esp due to the break off with his ex and suddenly he got another new gf. I didnt think much, i pray to god hoping dat he will looked after me when im there...
When reached his aunt hse, his sister came down to meet him... When i saw his sister, i juz smiled but his sis didnt had any facial expression. I didnt care that much but getting more and more nervous as in wad will happen when i saw his parents... Trying hard to brush all negative thoughts away. Hmmm... and we go up together... saw his aunt, he introduce me to his aunts... and sat down to have dinner... Halfway thru the dinner, he went to the kitchen for bout 5 to 10mins and came back to the dinning table. I didnt asked anything until after we had our dinner and he wanted to go for a smoke. We went downstair for a puff, he den tell me his mum asked him to go to the kitchen to tell him dat his parent forbid him to bring gf home so dat even if the r/s doesnt work out, at least it dont look dat bad... all along i knew dat his ex and his family members are closed. But somehow i juz feel insecure. He told me that when he is doing duties, his ex and his sisters will go out clubbing together. and dat situation very awkard cos his family members are attached to his ex suddenly he bring a new gf to relative xmas celebration. and the best part is his relative also saw his ex before... Hmmm... think his relative must be shocked to see me there...
Stay till 10pm and left his aunt's hse. In the car, i kept silent. Negative thoughts keep coming into my mind. I started to think bout whether will this r/s work out? Will his family member accept me in future? And wad if they dont accept? Will i get hurt? Do i reali love him and dat we can overcome this? Do he love me dat much to overcome? Or will he juz let it go? After leaving his aunt hse, we went to Jalan Besah to fetch my brother... Think he realised that im unusual... But as usual i juz told him "Im fine". After picking up my brother, we went to 7-11 to buy cigarette and beer. Beer is actually for me cos im juz damn bad mood and i dont wanna show it out... I keep talking to my brother to calm my negative thoughts... Reach home, i accompany him to watch "heroes". Had been walkin in and out of my room cos im afraid my tears will juz flowed out in front of him... and yeshh... is did flow out of my eyes and he saw it... Trying damn hard to look away from him... He stopped his movie and hugged me... wishing me merry xmas and trying to find out why... Initially, he thought i cried becos of his ex cos while i was in my brother room, he went to living room to pick up a call and the called was from his ex. I told him not becos of his ex calling him. He asked me again do i have any questions to asked. and i asked No.... he had no choice cos i don wanna talk about it, he den tell me, once im ready to talk bout this issue, i go out and look for him. and he left my room to the living room.
Being left alone in the room, i still think of negative stuffs... trying and trying not to think and calm myself... Hear his voice and my brother voice from my brother's room... and they were laughing happily... All thanks to the youtube... After calming myself, when to my brother room and look for him. He den asked me whether im ok anot. Of cos my reply is "ok"... den smile at him...
After that we went to Mount Faber, sit there talk cock.... cos his intial planning was to celebrate with me alone. Talk until 5am dan shag le, and headed home. Luckily, we nv sit until sunrise cos on the way back, i fell asleep and his eyes already half closed...
25th Dec 2008
We woke up at 2pm+... as planned last night with my brother, we are eating steamboat today to celebrate... He continued to watch "heroes" until 3pm+ and den we went to Taman Jurong Sheng Song to buy foods... Came back with all the foods and starting to prepare. My brother also helped out with slicing beef and pork meat.... Though is a small simple steamboat celebration but we ate happily. My dad is the last to join us.... hmm.... But we are very full... We still have quite alot of food left. Haha.... too bad my mum is working if not she can join us for steamboat session. Is also good that she is not around cos me and my brother can smoke freely. After steamboat session, i, my dad and brother split house chore to do. My dad washes the dishes, I use magic clean to wipe the floor and my brother mop the floor. Dear, clean the dining room glass cos the oil stain the mirror. My brother den jio dear play game... Ke lian de wo... cant use computer... after awhile fall asleep... When i woke up, dear told me dat he need to return slipper to his sis... On the way to his hse, my negativism strike again... Haix... Sometime im wondering is it becos we started out too fast and ending fast also... Don wanna think anymore...
Reach home, he suddenly tell me dat he is going to gif me a christmas present and he will be back in an hr time. Haha... while waiting for his present i decided to create this blog. Writing everything about me and him... I simply like his handmade present... Becos this present is from him and only i have it...
Dear, juz wanna let you knw, i do feel insecure during this 2 days... Afraid u will leave me one day... Afriad im too in love with u.... Afraid dat we don belong to each other... Afriad u love me less than I do... Afraid im too sticky and u don like it... Afraid... Afraid... Afraid...
This is my 1st time celebrating xmas with him. We were at home sleeping, ate nasi lemak in the afternoon, watching movie and slacking at home. While having our lunch @ Boon Lay Nasi Lemak, hetold me that he had to go over to his aunt hse for celebration awhile and im following him. Initially, i didnt get what he said so I told him i go eat steamboat with Marie they all while waiting for him. den his reply was like "up to you lor". I sensed something is not right so I ask him if i don go eat steamboat with marie they all, then where am i suppose to go. he den replied, followed me to my aunt hse. I was liked "huh? den ur parents and relatives are going to see me. He said sooner or later they will know bout my presence.
Actually im half happy and half worried cos I don knw wad will happened when i reached there esp due to the break off with his ex and suddenly he got another new gf. I didnt think much, i pray to god hoping dat he will looked after me when im there...
When reached his aunt hse, his sister came down to meet him... When i saw his sister, i juz smiled but his sis didnt had any facial expression. I didnt care that much but getting more and more nervous as in wad will happen when i saw his parents... Trying hard to brush all negative thoughts away. Hmmm... and we go up together... saw his aunt, he introduce me to his aunts... and sat down to have dinner... Halfway thru the dinner, he went to the kitchen for bout 5 to 10mins and came back to the dinning table. I didnt asked anything until after we had our dinner and he wanted to go for a smoke. We went downstair for a puff, he den tell me his mum asked him to go to the kitchen to tell him dat his parent forbid him to bring gf home so dat even if the r/s doesnt work out, at least it dont look dat bad... all along i knew dat his ex and his family members are closed. But somehow i juz feel insecure. He told me that when he is doing duties, his ex and his sisters will go out clubbing together. and dat situation very awkard cos his family members are attached to his ex suddenly he bring a new gf to relative xmas celebration. and the best part is his relative also saw his ex before... Hmmm... think his relative must be shocked to see me there...
Stay till 10pm and left his aunt's hse. In the car, i kept silent. Negative thoughts keep coming into my mind. I started to think bout whether will this r/s work out? Will his family member accept me in future? And wad if they dont accept? Will i get hurt? Do i reali love him and dat we can overcome this? Do he love me dat much to overcome? Or will he juz let it go? After leaving his aunt hse, we went to Jalan Besah to fetch my brother... Think he realised that im unusual... But as usual i juz told him "Im fine". After picking up my brother, we went to 7-11 to buy cigarette and beer. Beer is actually for me cos im juz damn bad mood and i dont wanna show it out... I keep talking to my brother to calm my negative thoughts... Reach home, i accompany him to watch "heroes". Had been walkin in and out of my room cos im afraid my tears will juz flowed out in front of him... and yeshh... is did flow out of my eyes and he saw it... Trying damn hard to look away from him... He stopped his movie and hugged me... wishing me merry xmas and trying to find out why... Initially, he thought i cried becos of his ex cos while i was in my brother room, he went to living room to pick up a call and the called was from his ex. I told him not becos of his ex calling him. He asked me again do i have any questions to asked. and i asked No.... he had no choice cos i don wanna talk about it, he den tell me, once im ready to talk bout this issue, i go out and look for him. and he left my room to the living room.
Being left alone in the room, i still think of negative stuffs... trying and trying not to think and calm myself... Hear his voice and my brother voice from my brother's room... and they were laughing happily... All thanks to the youtube... After calming myself, when to my brother room and look for him. He den asked me whether im ok anot. Of cos my reply is "ok"... den smile at him...
After that we went to Mount Faber, sit there talk cock.... cos his intial planning was to celebrate with me alone. Talk until 5am dan shag le, and headed home. Luckily, we nv sit until sunrise cos on the way back, i fell asleep and his eyes already half closed...
25th Dec 2008
We woke up at 2pm+... as planned last night with my brother, we are eating steamboat today to celebrate... He continued to watch "heroes" until 3pm+ and den we went to Taman Jurong Sheng Song to buy foods... Came back with all the foods and starting to prepare. My brother also helped out with slicing beef and pork meat.... Though is a small simple steamboat celebration but we ate happily. My dad is the last to join us.... hmm.... But we are very full... We still have quite alot of food left. Haha.... too bad my mum is working if not she can join us for steamboat session. Is also good that she is not around cos me and my brother can smoke freely. After steamboat session, i, my dad and brother split house chore to do. My dad washes the dishes, I use magic clean to wipe the floor and my brother mop the floor. Dear, clean the dining room glass cos the oil stain the mirror. My brother den jio dear play game... Ke lian de wo... cant use computer... after awhile fall asleep... When i woke up, dear told me dat he need to return slipper to his sis... On the way to his hse, my negativism strike again... Haix... Sometime im wondering is it becos we started out too fast and ending fast also... Don wanna think anymore...
Reach home, he suddenly tell me dat he is going to gif me a christmas present and he will be back in an hr time. Haha... while waiting for his present i decided to create this blog. Writing everything about me and him... I simply like his handmade present... Becos this present is from him and only i have it...
Dear, juz wanna let you knw, i do feel insecure during this 2 days... Afraid u will leave me one day... Afriad im too in love with u.... Afraid dat we don belong to each other... Afriad u love me less than I do... Afraid im too sticky and u don like it... Afraid... Afraid... Afraid...
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