Xmas Celebration 24th December to 25th December 2008

24th Dec 08



This is my 1st time celebrating xmas with him. We were at home sleeping, ate nasi lemak in the afternoon, watching movie and slacking at home. While having our lunch @ Boon Lay Nasi Lemak, hetold me that he had to go over to his aunt hse for celebration awhile and im following him. Initially, i didnt get what he said so I told him i go eat steamboat with Marie they all while waiting for him. den his reply was like "up to you lor". I sensed something is not right so I ask him if i don go eat steamboat with marie they all, then where am i suppose to go. he den replied, followed me to my aunt hse. I was liked "huh? den ur parents and relatives are going to see me. He said sooner or later they will know bout my presence.



Actually im half happy and half worried cos I don knw wad will happened when i reached there esp due to the break off with his ex and suddenly he got another new gf. I didnt think much, i pray to god hoping dat he will looked after me when im there...



When reached his aunt hse, his sister came down to meet him... When i saw his sister, i juz smiled but his sis didnt had any facial expression. I didnt care that much but getting more and more nervous as in wad will happen when i saw his parents... Trying hard to brush all negative thoughts away. Hmmm... and we go up together... saw his aunt, he introduce me to his aunts... and sat down to have dinner... Halfway thru the dinner, he went to the kitchen for bout 5 to 10mins and came back to the dinning table. I didnt asked anything until after we had our dinner and he wanted to go for a smoke. We went downstair for a puff, he den tell me his mum asked him to go to the kitchen to tell him dat his parent forbid him to bring gf home so dat even if the r/s doesnt work out, at least it dont look dat bad... all along i knew dat his ex and his family members are closed. But somehow i juz feel insecure. He told me that when he is doing duties, his ex and his sisters will go out clubbing together. and dat situation very awkard cos his family members are attached to his ex suddenly he bring a new gf to relative xmas celebration. and the best part is his relative also saw his ex before... Hmmm... think his relative must be shocked to see me there...



Stay till 10pm and left his aunt's hse. In the car, i kept silent. Negative thoughts keep coming into my mind. I started to think bout whether will this r/s work out? Will his family member accept me in future? And wad if they dont accept? Will i get hurt? Do i reali love him and dat we can overcome this? Do he love me dat much to overcome? Or will he juz let it go? After leaving his aunt hse, we went to Jalan Besah to fetch my brother... Think he realised that im unusual... But as usual i juz told him "Im fine". After picking up my brother, we went to 7-11 to buy cigarette and beer. Beer is actually for me cos im juz damn bad mood and i dont wanna show it out... I keep talking to my brother to calm my negative thoughts... Reach home, i accompany him to watch "heroes". Had been walkin in and out of my room cos im afraid my tears will juz flowed out in front of him... and yeshh... is did flow out of my eyes and he saw it... Trying damn hard to look away from him... He stopped his movie and hugged me... wishing me merry xmas and trying to find out why... Initially, he thought i cried becos of his ex cos while i was in my brother room, he went to living room to pick up a call and the called was from his ex. I told him not becos of his ex calling him. He asked me again do i have any questions to asked. and i asked No.... he had no choice cos i don wanna talk about it, he den tell me, once im ready to talk bout this issue, i go out and look for him. and he left my room to the living room.



Being left alone in the room, i still think of negative stuffs... trying and trying not to think and calm myself... Hear his voice and my brother voice from my brother's room... and they were laughing happily... All thanks to the youtube... After calming myself, when to my brother room and look for him. He den asked me whether im ok anot. Of cos my reply is "ok"... den smile at him...



After that we went to Mount Faber, sit there talk cock.... cos his intial planning was to celebrate with me alone. Talk until 5am dan shag le, and headed home. Luckily, we nv sit until sunrise cos on the way back, i fell asleep and his eyes already half closed...



25th Dec 2008



We woke up at 2pm+... as planned last night with my brother, we are eating steamboat today to celebrate... He continued to watch "heroes" until 3pm+ and den we went to Taman Jurong Sheng Song to buy foods... Came back with all the foods and starting to prepare. My brother also helped out with slicing beef and pork meat.... Though is a small simple steamboat celebration but we ate happily. My dad is the last to join us.... hmm.... But we are very full... We still have quite alot of food left. Haha.... too bad my mum is working if not she can join us for steamboat session. Is also good that she is not around cos me and my brother can smoke freely. After steamboat session, i, my dad and brother split house chore to do. My dad washes the dishes, I use magic clean to wipe the floor and my brother mop the floor. Dear, clean the dining room glass cos the oil stain the mirror. My brother den jio dear play game... Ke lian de wo... cant use computer... after awhile fall asleep... When i woke up, dear told me dat he need to return slipper to his sis... On the way to his hse, my negativism strike again... Haix... Sometime im wondering is it becos we started out too fast and ending fast also... Don wanna think anymore...

Reach home, he suddenly tell me dat he is going to gif me a christmas present and he will be back in an hr time. Haha... while waiting for his present i decided to create this blog. Writing everything about me and him... I simply like his handmade present... Becos this present is from him and only i have it...

Dear, juz wanna let you knw, i do feel insecure during this 2 days... Afraid u will leave me one day... Afriad im too in love with u.... Afraid dat we don belong to each other... Afriad u love me less than I do... Afraid im too sticky and u don like it... Afraid... Afraid... Afraid...